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  1. #1
    Unregistered Guest

    Default motivation paragraph

    Hello everyone ,

    I am a student !

    I'm applying to medical school and in the application I'm supposed to write a motivation paragraph constituted of 8 sentences. I would kindly like to request a revision of what I have already written and some further assistance in improving it.

    Becoming a doctor specialized in Obstetrics and Gynecology has always been a passion and aspiration at a time for me. Throughout the past years of my life, it was made clear to myself that I approached my decision of becoming a doctor in a mature manner. Getting enrolled at a such highly prestigious university will give me the golden chance to thrive and be brought into my realm where I will be able to demonstrate my potentials in full by excelling in my studies.

    Sincerely ,

    A.

  2. #2
    TheParser is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: motivation paragraph

    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Hello everyone ,

    I am a student !

    I'm applying to medical school and in the application I'm supposed to write a motivation paragraph constituted of 8 sentences. I would kindly like to request a revision of what I have already written and some further assistance in improving it.

    Becoming a doctor specialized in Obstetrics and Gynecology has always been a passion and aspiration at a time for me. Throughout the past years of my life, it was made clear to myself that I approached my decision of becoming a doctor in a mature manner. Getting enrolled at a such highly prestigious university will give me the golden chance to thrive and be brought into my realm where I will be able to demonstrate my potentials in full by excelling in my studies.

    Sincerely ,

    A.
    ***NOT A TEACHER***Your paragraph is very nice. I recommend only a few minor changes. Maybe something like: Becoming an obstetrician and gynecologist has long been my goal. Throughout the years, it has grown into a passion. I have taken the appropriate courses at school , read widely on my own, and used every opportunity to learn more about the medical field. I feel that I can be of the greatest service to my community by becoming a physician. I have been seeking an educational institution that offers state-of-the-art instruction and that holds its students to the most exacting standards of excellence. The University of ( ), I feel, offers me the best opportunity to develop my potential to the fullest. I am eager to use my talents to help in the never-ending efforts to alleviate human suffering.

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