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  1. Over the top's Avatar
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    #1

    I need a correction of these few lines, thanks.

    Hello
    I would be greatly appreciated if someone corrected my writing. Thank you very much.

    Whenever you hear chattering of morning birds coming through your windows, remember I was like you a wife and a mother or even a young girl used to spend her secret times in front of a mirror prettifying for a man in the mind.
    Whenever you beg out your children's laundry in your veranda humming an old beautiful song you have liked since your childhood or because it reminds you of your youth days, remember a woman and a mother like you her veranda was burnt with everything was on it, clothes and dreams.
    I am the one whose children did not go to school but to a place where they never come back. Remember me for nothing supports me but your tears. I know you are extension of me and in you I find the life when its brightness escapes my eye.

  2. Raymott's Avatar
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      • Member Type:
      • Academic
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    • Join Date: Jun 2008
    • Posts: 21,331
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    #2

    Re: I need a correction of these few lines, thanks.

    Quote Originally Posted by Over the top View Post
    Hello
    I would be greatly appreciated if someone corrected my writing. Thank you very much.

    Whenever you hear the chattering of morning birds coming through your windows, remember that I was like you -- a wife and a mother, or even a young girl who used to spend her secret times in front of a mirror prettying herself for a man in her mind.
    Whenever you beg hang out your children's laundry in on your veranda, humming a beautiful old song you have liked since your childhood or because it reminds you of your younger days, remember a woman and a mother like you. Her veranda was burnt with everything was on it -- clothes, dreams ....
    [I've put an ellipsis here because 'clothes and dreams' seems too little to mean 'everything'.
    I am the one whose children did not go to school but to a place from where [or 'from which'] they never come back. Remember me; for nothing supports me but your tears. I know you are an extension of me, and in you I find the life when its brightness escapes my eye.
    R.

  3. Over the top's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • Arabic
      • Home Country:
      • Saudi Arabia
      • Current Location:
      • Saudi Arabia

    • Join Date: Jul 2007
    • Posts: 386
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #3

    Re: I need a correction of these few lines, thanks.

    Thank you so much

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