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  1. #1
    Nikk is offline Newbie
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    Exclamation Can someone help me in Editing a narritvie essay(Childhood event)

    After the summer of 2007 had passed , quickly followed was my last season of aau basketball .I couldn’t even imagine how life would be without basketball but all feelings went aside when pulling up to Doris miller community center . Don’t get me wrong , that place was beautiful hazel wood floors with metal chained nets and the best part about that gym was the leveling lights that could dim in selected place of the court .I remember the first time I walked though those doors and met coach Rivers. He had played for the Memphis Grizzlies a NBA team about five years ago but wasn’t as “Athletically gifted” as the starters ; Respected and Admiral were the only ways to describe my new coach.

    The Beauty of Doris miller wasn’t enough to keep me from hating it because I knew that his philology was “You start how you want to finish”, which meant we would train had from the beginning. This was the first practice back and my mom gave me her traditional before practice wishes “Having fun and don’t over do it ’.I knew what was going to happen but it surprised me every time, just as I would stepped out of the car ; my coach would of already shouted the orders to begin running . When we finally stopped , my lungs completely fell out of my chest ; then he gave me the instruction to set up the three guard formation. I always wondered what made him believe his own ridiculous methods of training were going to be the keys to my success , as so he said to me everyday.

    In the past summers, I had trained and trained until I didn’t have the drive to go on training. I worked at the skills my coach told me , I need to improve my all around game and so I did in order to become better and receive the title of team captain .Though my own efforts , I had never even gotten a “Hey your getter better” from coach ; so I figured that there was no reason to train over this past summer . Even though I knew I wanted it so badly that I would spend all of my free time practicing. My friends would badger me nonstop about enjoying myself , but they I guess they hadn’t realized that this is what I enjoyed doing with my time.

    It was getting late and towards the end of practice, I walked up to the ball rack and began to shoot every ball on the rack into the net to prove my dominance . I made every single shot too , I then looked to my team mates and dare anyone to beat me in a game of suicide(a race back and froth up the court until , one opponent couldn‘t go on any loner). I had striven harder than ever to impress my coach ,but the only he did was nothing ; he just sat down on his chair and watch observantly. I had successfully defeated my opponent and waited for his praise for my great accomplishments’ .But he didn’t say a word , so I decided it was worthless to even try to get the respect that I thought was desired .

    Coach dismissed practice ,I was the first to leave the court because there wasn’t any reason to stick. I thought to myself , all they work I put into this and I receive nothing at all. My phone in pocket began to vibrated , it was mom texting me to come outside. As I began my walk of defeat toward the exit of the courts door my coach put his hand don my should and said “What’s the rush ,I would like to commend you on your performance this is what I always want to see in you the power to lead . By the way could you come to practice about 30 min‘s earlier , I like to talk to my captain before practice smile”.

  2. #2
    RonBee's Avatar
    RonBee is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: Can someone help me in Editing a narritvie essay(Childhood event)

    Not a good beginning. Perhaps:
    .
    After the summer of 2007 ended, I eagerly awaited the start of my last year of AAU basketball.


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