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  1. #1
    Tegiiin is offline Newbie
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    Please check my Toefl essay.

    Topic: Describe and read the most significant challenges and most effective strategies related to academic success. Include examples from your own and your classmates’ experiences to support your explanation.


    Try and Try Again

    The motto “if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again” is a saying that I agree with. In my life, I have made a effort to preserve, using several different approaches to a problem or goal in order to be successful. One example that I come to mind is my university presentation. Even as freshmen, I preferred to got advice from the professor about how to make presentation. Truthfully I was completely confused in the first conversation. Nevertheless I have learned how to researching, body language and launched several campaigns to make a good presentation.

    My first real presentation experience was at the university. For six weeks, I research more than 200 pages a day, taking note of every important information carefully. I learned to organize material into sections like literature cited. At the end of six weeks, I had made presentation in the class. But I did not remember anything and I felt very sick. So I began to read my notes. My teacher put an end to my speech because I spoke too long and everybody lost their attention. As a result, I got poor grades at the mid turn and I had to work hard for the final exam.

    Although I had failed in my first experience, I still had a chance to pass the course. This time I followed a rigorous working plan. I concentrated on body language as well as structure. I took a mirror to my room so that It would be easier to make practice. I joined a social club and observe people as they were giving presentations. Although I made good presentation as I want, I began to receive complements from friends on my presentation. Nevertheless, I found myself going to disco with friend from club, missing lesson and workout because I was “too busy”. Preparing the final is not possible because I was arriving late. I failed the final again.

    If I want, I could skip the course, but I tried again. I met one person who is successful the presentation. She gave me private lesson. I learned a new method for successful presentation such as speaking clearly. My presentation became more understandable and was timer. Moreover, studying the lesson by myself and active listening other students, I have slowly reached my goal. When I was making presentation, I felt confidence and overcame the challenge.

    So, as you see, I tried and tried again, but at last I succeeded in finding a way that worked for me. And I learn researching, body language and speaking clearly. What is important is not to give up and to learn from each failure.
    Last edited by Tegiiin; 02-Feb-2010 at 21:22.

  2. #2
    Tegiiin is offline Newbie
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    Re: Please check my Toefl essay.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tegiiin View Post
    Topic: Describe and read the most significant challenges and most effective strategies related to academic success. Include examples from your own and your classmates’ experiences to support your explanation.


    Try and Try Again

    The motto “if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again” is a saying that I agree with. In my life, I have made a effort to preserve, using several different approaches to a problem or goal in order to be successful. One example that I come to mind is my university presentation. Even as freshmen, I preferred to got advice from the professor about how to make presentation. Truthfully I was completely confused in the first conversation. Nevertheless I have learned how to researching, body language and launched several campaigns to make a good presentation.

    My first real presentation experience was at the university. For six weeks, I research more than 200 pages a day, taking note of every important information carefully. I learned to organize material into sections like literature cited. At the end of six weeks, I had made presentation in the class. But I did not remember anything and I felt very sick. So I began to read my notes. My teacher put an end to my speech because I spoke too long and everybody lost their attention. As a result, I got poor grades at the mid turn and I had to work hard for the final exam.

    Although I had failed in my first experience, I still had a chance to pass the course. This time I followed a rigorous working plan. I concentrated on body language as well as structure. I took a mirror to my room so that It would be easier to make practice. I joined a social club and observe people as they were giving presentations. Although I made good presentation as I want, I began to receive complements from friends on my presentation. Nevertheless, I found myself going to disco with friend from club, missing lesson and workout because I was “too busy”. Preparing the final is not possible because I was arriving late. I failed the final again.

    If I want, I could skip the course, but I tried again. I met one person who is successful the presentation. She gave me private lesson. I learned a new method for successful presentation such as speaking clearly. My presentation became more understandable and was timer. Moreover, studying the lesson by myself and active listening other students, I have slowly reached my goal. When I was making presentation, I felt confidence and overcame the challenge.

    So, as you see, I tried and tried again, but at last I succeeded in finding a way that worked for me. And I learn researching, body language and speaking clearly. What is important is not to give up and to learn from each failure.
    Is there anybody know the answer?

  3. #3
    Tegiiin is offline Newbie
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    Re: Please check my Toefl essay.

    Thank you very much. I thought that questions marked words as below:
    {my?} the club which is social club such as a course
    {Unsure of what a workout means here} the program
    {shorter?} I tried to mean it was made the timing right. What
    {?} I tried to mean I learned the body language to give good presentation. Such as the mirror practice and other people's experience
    Last edited by Tegiiin; 10-Feb-2010 at 20:42.

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