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  1. #1
    julianna's Avatar
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    Default would you like to correct my paragraph please?

    This § is about pollution, so please don't hesitate in correcting any mistake or replacing a word by another!!

    Polltion is consedred as one of the most dangerous phenomena which threatens the ecosystem,in view of what it causes in damaging our environment...
    Sientists have classified the pollution into/to four kinds,which are:the land pollution,water pollution,air and also noise pollution.
    First,the earth or land pollution,it's the degradation of land's surfaces,often causes by human diffrent activities,and their misuse of land resources,it occurs when waste is not disposed properly,haphazard disposal of urban and industrial wastes,exploitation of minirals and improper use of soil by inadequate agriculturepractices are a few factors,urbanization and industrilization are maor causes of land pollution...
    this kind of pollution causes principally the extinction of many animals species,also diffrent diseases to human being..
    Second we have air pollution,it's the introduction of chemicals particulate matter,or biological materials that cause harm and discomfort to humans and even the other living organisms,or damages the natural environment into the atmosphere,people have no choise but breathing the air around them,when the air is polluted,they breath particale and harmfull gases that may hurt their lungs,hearts and overall health,children are at greater risks because their lungs are still growing,also they play outside and they are active as a result,pound for pound they breath more outdoor air pollution than most adults..
    Third we got water pollution,it is the contamination of water bodies (lakes,rivers,oceans...) it effects plants and organisme living in these bodies of water,water pollution occurs when polltants are discharged dirctly or indirctly into water without adequate treatments to remove harmfull compounds ... This kind of pollution mainlly causes the extinction of fishes and plants living in waters .
    Fourth and finally,we have noise pollution,it's a new kind, it's displeasing human,animals, and machines created sound that disturbs the activities of human beings... It causes serious hearing diseases and irritability,lake of sleep and degestion,heart burn,high blood pressur and annoyance.
    Make an end of theses sorts of pollution is the duty of everyone from us establishing awareness compaignes praising with the gravity of this pollution,and its risks to human beings health on the one hand and all the planet on the other one...
    .............................................
    what do you think about this paragraph? please answer me!!
    thank you everybody..

  2. #2
    julianna's Avatar
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    Default Re: would you like to correct my paragraph please?

    what are the words spelled incorrectly please?
    what does this mean" does not end a sentence??

  3. #3
    julianna's Avatar
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    Default Re: would you like to correct my paragraph please?

    any help????

  4. #4
    julianna's Avatar
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    Default Re: would you like to correct my paragraph please?

    Pollution is considred as one of the most dangerous phenomena which threatens the ecosystem,in view of what it causes in damaging our environment.
    Scientists have classified the pollution into/to four kinds,which are:the land pollution,water pollution,air and also noise pollution.
    First,the earth or land pollution,it's the degradation of land's surfaces,often causes by human diffrent activities,and their misuse of land resources,it occurs when waste is not disposed properly,haphazard disposal of urban and industrial wastes,exploitation of minirales and improper use of soil by inadequate agriculture practices are a few factors,urbanization and industrilization are major causes of land pollution.
    this kind of pollution causes principally the extinction of many animals species,also diffrent diseases to human being.
    Second we have air pollution,it's the introduction of chemicals particulate matter,or biological materials that cause harm and discomfort to humans and even the other living organisms,or damages the natural environment into the atmosphere,people have no choiؤe but breathing the air around them,when the air is polluted,they breath (particale)??? and harmfull gases that may hurt their lungs,hearts and overall health,children are at greater risks because their lungs are still growing,also they play outside and they are active as a result,pound for pound they breath more outdoor air pollution than most adults..
    Third we got water pollution,it is the contamination of water bodies (lakes,rivers,oceans...) it effects plants and organisme living in these bodies of water,water pollution occurs when pollutants are discharged dirctly or indirctly into water without adequate treatments to remove harmfull compounds ... This kind of pollution mainly causes the extinction of fishes and plants living in waters .
    Fourth and finally,we have noise pollution,it's a new kind, it's displeasing human,animals, and machines created sound that disturbs the activities of human beings... It causes serious hearing diseases and irritability,lake of sleep and (degestion)?,heart burn,high blood pressure and annoyance.
    Make an end of theses sorts of pollution is the duty of everyone from us establishing awareness compainges praising with the gravity of this pollution,and its risks to human beings health on the one hand and all the planet on the other one.

    ........................................
    and now?

  5. #5
    julianna's Avatar
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    Default Re: would you like to correct my paragraph please?

    teacher Bhaisahab? would you like to help me???

  6. #6
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    bhaisahab is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: would you like to correct my paragraph please?

    Quote Originally Posted by julianna View Post
    Pollution is considered to be one of the most dangerous phenomena which threaten the ecosystem, in view of what it contributes to damaging our environment.
    Scientists have classified pollution into four kinds, which are: land pollution, water pollution, air and noise pollution.

    First,the earth or land pollution: it's the degradation of land surfaces,often causes by different human activities,and their misuse of land resources,i t occurs when waste is not disposed of correctly.properly,haphazard disposal of urban and industrial wastes,exploitation of minirales and improper use of soil by inadequate agriculture practices are a few factors,urbanization and industrilization are major causes of land pollution.
    this kind of pollution causes principally the extinction of many animals species,also diffrent diseases to human being.
    Second we have air pollution,it's the introduction of chemicals particulate matter,or biological materials that cause harm and discomfort to humans and even the other living organisms,or damages the natural environment into the atmosphere,people have no choiؤe but breathing the air around them,when the air is polluted,they breath (particale)??? and harmfull gases that may hurt their lungs,hearts and overall health,children are at greater risks because their lungs are still growing,also they play outside and they are active as a result,pound for pound they breath more outdoor air pollution than most adults..
    Third we got water pollution,it is the contamination of water bodies (lakes,rivers,oceans...) it effects plants and organisme living in these bodies of water,water pollution occurs when pollutants are discharged dirctly or indirctly into water without adequate treatments to remove harmfull compounds ... This kind of pollution mainly causes the extinction of fishes and plants living in waters .
    Fourth and finally,we have noise pollution,it's a new kind, it's displeasing human,animals, and machines created sound that disturbs the activities of human beings... It causes serious hearing diseases and irritability,lake of sleep and (degestion)?,heart burn,high blood pressure and annoyance.
    Make an end of theses sorts of pollution is the duty of everyone from us establishing awareness compainges praising with the gravity of this pollution,and its risks to human beings health on the one hand and all the planet on the other one.

    ........................................
    and now?
    I have corrected the first part. You could make it easier to read by putting a space after the punctuation marks. I don't have time right now to correct all of it, but there is a lot of correction necessary.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: would you like to correct my paragraph please?

    thank you so much!!!

  8. #8
    sarat_106 is offline Key Member
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    Exclamation Re: would you like to correct my paragraph please?

    Quote Originally Posted by julianna View Post
    This § is about pollution, so please don't hesitate in correcting any mistake or replacing a word by another!!
    Pollution is considered to be one of the most dangerous phenomena which threaten the ecosystem, in view of what it contributes to damaging our environment.
    Scientists have classified pollution into four kinds, which are: land pollution, water pollution, air and noise pollution.


    First, the earth or land pollution, it's the degradation of land's surfaces, often caused by human activities of different kinds, and the misuse of land resources. It occurs when waste is not disposed off properly, such as haphazard disposal of urban and industrial wastes. The exploitation of minerals and improper use of soil by inadequate agriculture practices are a few factors of misuse of resources while urbanization and industrialization are major causes of land pollution. This kind of pollution is principally the cause of the extinction of many animals, species, and also of different diseases to human being.


    Second, we have the air pollution. It's the introduction of chemically particulate matters, or biological materials that cause harm and discomfort to humans including (and even the) other living organisms, and damage (s) the natural environment of (into) the atmosphere. People have no choice but to breath (ing) the air around them, when the air is polluted, They breath particlesof (???) harmful air and gases that (may) hurt their lungs, hearts and overall health. Children are at greater risks because their lungs are still growing, and also as they play outside and (they) are active (as a result), pound for pound, they breath more outdoor polluted air than the most adults..


    Third we got water pollution,it is the contamination of water bodies (lakes,rivers,oceans...) it effects plants and organisme living in these bodies of water,water pollution occurs when pollutants are discharged dirctly or indirctly into water without adequate treatments to remove harmfull compounds ... This kind of pollution mainly causes the extinction of fishes and plants living in waters .
    Fourth and finally,we have noise pollution,it's a new kind, it's displeasing human,animals, and machines created sound that disturbs the activities of human beings... It causes serious hearing diseases and irritability,lake of sleep and (degestion)?,heart burn,high blood pressure and annoyance.
    Make an end of theses sorts of pollution is the duty of everyone from us establishing awareness compainges praising with the gravity of this pollution,and its risks to human beings health on the one hand and all the planet on the other one.
    what do you think about this paragraph? please answer me!!
    thank you everybody..

    Hi Julianna, I have corrected two more paragraphs. Some words are put inside brackets only to be deleted. I think it will be now easier for you to do the rest and help correcting your own English.
    Last edited by sarat_106; 08-Feb-2010 at 05:53.

  9. #9
    julianna's Avatar
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    Default Re: would you like to correct my paragraph please?

    i don't know how to thank you teacher Sarat..
    thanks a lot!!

  10. #10
    julianna's Avatar
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    Default Re: would you like to correct my paragraph please?

    thank you so so much for you all!!!

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