please help me and take a look to my paragraph (a.s.a.p)

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takiko

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I need an expert for help, I have written a paragraph about advantage of studying abroad. O poste with outline + paragraph, please take a look and tell me what errors I have made,

[FONT=&quot]Outline:[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]1)[/FONT][FONT=&quot] Topic Sentence[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]There are three main advantages of studying abroad.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] 2)[/FONT][FONT=&quot]Supporting idea #1[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]First of all, the advantage of studying abroad is a person has the chance to improve the language[/FONT]
·[FONT=&quot]Speak with the native speaker[/FONT]
·[FONT=&quot]Practice with local people[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Supporting idea #2[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Next, a person can become more self-independent while studying abroad.[/FONT]
·[FONT=&quot]Do everything by oneself[/FONT]
·[FONT=&quot]Know how to survive in another country[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Supporting idea #3
[/FONT][FONT=&quot]Last but not least, the most important reason of studying abroad is well prepared for the future[/FONT]
·[FONT=&quot]Earn a diploma or certificate[/FONT]
·[FONT=&quot]Expand career path or choices[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]
Is the outline okay!? is it okay, evidence for each supporting!?

Discuss the advantage of studying abroad.
[/FONT] [FONT=&quot]There are three main advantages of studying abroad. First of all, the advantage of studying abroad is a person [/FONT][FONT=&quot]has the chance to improve the language. It is a best way to improve the language by speaking with the native speaker. People can practice with the local people at school, and it is useful to improve the speaking and listening skills. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]Next, a person can become more self-independent while studying abroad. It is because a person needs to do everything by oneself. Student learned how to survive in foreign country, due to student needs to adapt a new environment. Last but not least, the most important reason of studying abroad is well prepared for the future. The student can expand the career path or choices, since the student graduated with the diploma or certificate while studying abroad. Moreover, the employer may seek the worker who can communicate in efficiently. In conclusion, three main ideas are the advantage of studying abroad.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]
Is my paragraph good!?, is there anything I need to change?
[/FONT]
 
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