can you check my letter? i'd be sooo grateful :)

Status
Not open for further replies.

fever

Member
Joined
Feb 13, 2010
Member Type
Student or Learner
hey guys, i really need your help :-( if you could check my letter if there are any mistakes i d be more than happy :roll:

Dear Sir/Madam,
I am writing to apply for the Erasmus Scholarship at the University of La Laguna in Spain. I would like to offer my candidature for the above Scholarship for the 2010-2011 academic year.
Without a doubt there are many reasons why I would like to be one of the participants of Erasmus Program. I have always dreamt of going to Spain. Tumultuous history of this wonderful country, where various civilizations have mingled over the centuries; multiplicity of dialects, religions, nationalities and cultural richness makes Spain an amazing place, which I would like to go on longer.

La Laguna - the oldest town in the Canary Islands, where thousands of students from around the world come every year is from my point of view a perfect place to study. University of La Laguna, with over three hundred years history, is an institution well-known and traditional. It is worth adding here that studies abroad gives you a great opportunity to learn the principals of the functioning of foreign university and look wider at higher education system. The La Laguna University educates nearly 25 thousands students from various parts of the world, including more and more Poles who encouraged by the positive opinions of their countrymen, also want a taste of studying in this egotistic place.

I am convinced that the studies in Tenerife is a unique opportunity for me to learn about Spain 'from the inside' - its people, different culture and customs and intercourse every day with things, we won’t be able to see from hotel room window or in another Pedro Almodovar’s movie.
It is also a great opportunity to learn Spanish language at a high level. As it is known, learning a foreign language is the best investment nowadays and spanish is one of the three most popular languages in the world. Without a doubt the a good commend in this language will build up my whole life.
In addition, Erasmus gives the possibility to establish contacts with people from all over Europe and even the world. Students like me, who are hungry for knowledge, but also for adventure and new experiences in an unknown place. In the era of globalization Erasmus is an important lesson of tolerance, but also independence. With no doubts, it leaves priceless experiences and memories for a lifetime. This is a unique chance for personal development and I would like to exploit this chance.

Currently I am a second year student of journalism and social communication. A year ago, I received a bachelor's degree in European studies at the University of Lodz. I think that trip to La Laguna is a great opportunity for me to broaden my knowledge about the European Union acquired on second faculty and confront various opinions about national stereotypes, as a focus of my work BA. I am truly convinced that I am an appropriate candidate for this program. I am a hardworking, ambitious, responsible and not afraid of new challenges person. Certainly I would be a good showcase of Polish student in the European Union.
Yours faithfully,
 

RonBee

Moderator
Joined
Feb 9, 2003
Member Type
Other
Native Language
American English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
Dear Sir/Madam,
I am writing to apply for the Erasmus Scholarship at the University of La Laguna in Spain. I would like to offer my candidature for the above Scholarship for the 2010-2011 academic year.
[STRIKE]Without a doubt[/STRIKE] There are many reasons why I would like to be one of the participants of Erasmus Program. I have always dreamt of going to Spain. The history of this wonderful country, where various civilizations have mingled over the centuries; the multiplicity of dialects, religions, and nationalities [STRIKE]cultural richness [/STRIKE]makes Spain an amazing place[STRIKE], which I would like to go on longer[/STRIKE].

La Laguna - the oldest town in the Canary Islands, where thousands of students from around the world come every year is from my point of view a perfect place to study. The University of La Laguna, established over three hundred years ago, is well-known traditional university.

I might look at it again if I have time. In the meantime, reread it to see if you can find ways to improve it.

:)
 

RonBee

Moderator
Joined
Feb 9, 2003
Member Type
Other
Native Language
American English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
Say:
.
I am a hardworking, ambitious, responsible person who is not afraid of new challenges.

(Please do not change the original post.)


:)
 

fever

Member
Joined
Feb 13, 2010
Member Type
Student or Learner
man, you're awesome, thx a lot :up:


maybe somebody else can also check it?
i've got 2 days to send it ;(
 
Last edited:

RonBee

Moderator
Joined
Feb 9, 2003
Member Type
Other
Native Language
American English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
It is worth adding here that studies abroad gives you a great opportunity to learn the principals of the functioning of foreign university and look wider at higher education system.

I have no suggestions here, since I am not sure what the writer is trying to say.

[STRIKE]The[/STRIKE] La Laguna University educates nearly 25 thousand[STRIKE]s[/STRIKE] students from various parts of the world, including more and more Poles who are encouraged by the positive opinions of their countrymen[STRIKE], also want a taste of studying in this egotistic place[/STRIKE].
Be careful about using words you don't fully understand.

Is this a homework assignment?

:?:
 

fever

Member
Joined
Feb 13, 2010
Member Type
Student or Learner
no, it's a cover letter, which i have to attach to the erasmus application. it sounds good in polish, but after my poor translation... :(
 

RonBee

Moderator
Joined
Feb 9, 2003
Member Type
Other
Native Language
American English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
People can be egotistic. Places can not. (Perhaps you mean to say that the university is prestigious.)

I am convinced that the studies in Tenerife is a unique opportunity for me to learn about Spain 'from the inside' - its people, different culture and customs and intercourse every day with things, we won’t be able to see from hotel room window or in another Pedro Almodovar’s movie.
I am convinced that studying in Tenerife would be a unique opportunity for me to learn about Spain in the best possible way.
:)
 

fever

Member
Joined
Feb 13, 2010
Member Type
Student or Learner
i guess i wanted to say 'exotic' place - 'egzotyczny' in polish ;-)

but instead of that can i say:

including more and more Poles who are encouraged by the positive opinions of their countrymen and want to spend a period in this beautiful place as well.
?
 

RonBee

Moderator
Joined
Feb 9, 2003
Member Type
Other
Native Language
American English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
It is also a great opportunity to learn Spanish language at a high level. As it is known, learning a foreign language is the best investment nowadays and spanish is one of the three most popular languages in the world. Without a doubt the a good commend in this language will build up my whole life.
It would also be a great opportunity to learn Spanish at a high level. (Learning a foreign language is the best educational investment nowadays, and Spanish is one of the three most widely-spoken languages in the world. Learning Spanish would enrich my life.)


:)
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top