I would also cringe if someone said "married with".
As for speaking with or to, "with" is more polite, indicating that it would be a conversation between two people.
If you say "to" it is more or less a one-way conversation, as in "I need to speak to you regarding your table manners." - a lecture to a child.
However, in Canada it is generally "speak to".
I am not a teacher.
- For Teachers