what a valid topic sentence look like?

Status
Not open for further replies.

nixgnoy

Member
Joined
Feb 21, 2010
Member Type
Student or Learner
If one topic sentence like that:

Starting school early can benefit not only in terms of children and their families but in society as a whole.

Then I discuss it by using linking words: To begin with, children will.....;In addition, families will.....;Finally, society will.......

Q1. Is this a valid topic sentence? (some people said that it was't, because it contained three ideas: children,families, society;others, however, said that it was, because it contained only one idea, that is "benefit")
I was really confused by this question:-(, would you please help me?

Q2. If this is a valid topic sentence, are there any other words that can replace those words like "To begin with, ...;In addition, ...; Finally..."?
I dislike using those words because it seems a bit mechanical.
 

bhaisahab

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Apr 12, 2008
Member Type
Retired English Teacher
Native Language
British English
Home Country
England
Current Location
Ireland
If one topic sentence like that:

Starting school early can benefit not only in terms of children and their families but in society as a whole.

Then I discuss it by using linking words: To begin with, children will.....;In addition, families will.....;Finally, society will.......

Q1. Is this a valid topic sentence? (some people said that it was't, because it contained three ideas: children,families, society;others, however, said that it was, because it contained only one idea, that is "benefit")
I was really confused by this question:-(, would you please help me?

Q2. If this is a valid topic sentence, are there any other words that can replace those words like "To begin with, ...;In addition, ...; Finally..."?
I dislike using those words because it seems a bit mechanical.
It is not a good sentence, you should remove "in terms of" and "in" before "society". Thus: Starting school early can benefit not only children and their families but society as a whole.
 

emsr2d2

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jul 28, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
British English
Home Country
UK
Current Location
UK
If one topic sentence like that:

Starting school early can benefit not only in terms of children and their families but in society as a whole.

Then I discuss it by using linking words: To begin with, children will.....;In addition, families will.....;Finally, society will.......

Q1. Is this a valid topic sentence? (some people said that it was't, because it contained three ideas: children,families, society;others, however, said that it was, because it contained only one idea, that is "benefit")
I was really confused by this question:-(, would you please help me?

Q2. If this is a valid topic sentence, are there any other words that can replace those words like "To begin with, ...;In addition, ...; Finally..."?
I dislike using those words because it seems a bit mechanical.

If it's going to be the title of a piece of writing, I would be inclined to shorten it even further to "Starting school early can benefit children, their families and society"
 

mmasny

Key Member
Joined
Oct 3, 2009
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Polish
Home Country
Poland
Current Location
Poland
Q2. If this is a valid topic sentence, are there any other words that can replace those words like "To begin with, ...;In addition, ...; Finally..."?
I dislike using those words because it seems a bit mechanical.
You can use one of these:
first of all, second of all,
first, second, third,
above all,
moreover, additionally, also, furthermore,
to sum up, to conclude.

And here's a link to many more: Transitional Words & Phrases
 

nixgnoy

Member
Joined
Feb 21, 2010
Member Type
Student or Learner
Dear all,
thank you very much!

but about the topic sentences mentioned before,
Starting school early can benefit not only children and their families but society as a whole.
or
Starting school early can benefit children, their families and society.
some people said that it was't a correct topic sentence, because it contained three ideas: children,families, society;others, however, said that it was, because it contained only one idea, that is "benefit".
Who is right?:-?
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top