Would you please give me some suggestions? Thank you very much!
Topic: Some companies ask their employees to wear uniform, what is your opinion? ( within 300 words, at least 250 words; IELTS for GENERAL TRAINING)
Today, wearing uniforms have been an essential requirement in many companies. This is because uniforms have played a significant role not only in terms of maintaining discipline but in functional way, although some of uniforms are stereotyped.
Uniforms create in people, a sense of discipline and identity, which make people mentally prepared that they going to work. Therefore, they take workplace seriously and behave in the same manner. That would particularly benefits those huge companies with a considerable amount of employees who usually engage in manual work, since if it were not for uniforms, managers would hardly identify what positions workers take immediately without checking their ID card and make workers work in their workplace automatically.
On the other hand, undeniable is the fact that uniforms still have some drawbacks such as their old-fashioned styles and inhibiting people’s freedom from selecting others favorite clothing. However, some out-of-date uniform could be more functional. For instance, dustmen in cleaning companies would be in safe situation when they work at night on the road wearing a reflectible uniform, for cars that pass by could discover them by glancing at the light reflected from their uniform. Guarders from guarding companies would be secure by wearing a bulletproof jacket, a kind of uniform. Moreover, today’s uniforms have become increasingly fashionable because many companies felt obliged to improve their impressions.
In conclusion, uniforms are of great importance to the management of a company as well as employees’ security. But more different uniforms should be designed in order to satisfy people’s different needs.
If I find all your mistakes and correct them that would be tantamount to doing your work for you. However, it might help if I ask a couple of questions. 1. How would you define the term "uniform"? 2. Name some organizations that require the wearing of uniforms.
Go over the essay and see if you can find better words than the ones that have been used.
Let me think..
Q1: My answer is that uniforms are special clothes for special people working in special organizations wearing in a particular position.
Q2: Police station, Post office, Hotel, Airport, Restaurant, School, Government, Military, Insurance Company, Bank....
Dear Professor RonBee:
I really appreciate what you have done for me, but I really need a complete correction, because if I were a native speaker, I wouldn't make a grammar or vocabulary mistake, or even if I made such a mistake, I could self-correct it immediately.Unfortunately, I am not a native speaker, as a result, I can hardly discover even a minor mistake in my essay, no metter how hard I work. and if no one point it out, I will never know it. Even I rewrite my essay again and again, those mistakes will exit forever, and this is a real self-learner's situation. So it is really really fearful. It would not be tantamount to doing my work for me,because it is not only a question of contents of the essay, but a grammar and vocabulary problem. I will make my progress due to your suggestions.
Thank you very much again!
Last edited by nixgnoy; 05-Mar-2010 at 03:29.
Coming up with suggestions is hard because it is often hard to figure out what the writer intended.
This is because uniforms have played a significant role not only in terms of maintaining discipline, but also in other important functions, although some uniforms are sterotyped..
A uniform is a mode of attire that is worn by members of a group and is a mode of attire that is identical among the members of that group. (Uniiforms are the same. That's what makes them uniform.) To stereotype a group of people is to treat them all the same even thought they are not the same. It is hard to see how uniforms can be stereotyped, since they are the same. I suggest deleting that portion of that sentence.