Results 1 to 4 of 4
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    28
    Post Thanks / Like

    help!! Why should people do enough exercise?

    Would you please give me some suggestions? Thank you very much!:)

    Topic: Why should people do enough exercise? What is your opinion? (within 300 words, at least 250 words; IELTS for GENERAL TRAINING)

    As a healthy lifestyle and recreation, playing sports has recently become increasingly popular around the world. In my opinion, it is worthwhile for people, whoever they are, teenagers or the elderly, to play sports. Although, there are still some people who do not have sufficient exercise and consider it as a waste of time.

    Appropriate aerobic exercise can physically and mentally enhance people’s health. It can release people’s psychological pressure that comes from fierce social competition and severe financial stresses due to its function as a kind of entertainment that make people relax. In addition, for those who lead a sedentary lifestyle and become over weight, proper exercise can stimulate the circulation of the blood and accelerate to eliminate the wastes of the body. Moreover, for those minor ailments like having the influenza or catching a fever, combining with exercise such as going out for a walk will be better than simply medical treatment.

    On the other hand, not everyone on any condition can benefit from any kinds of sports. In other words, people should be careful when choosing a kind of sport that is more suitable to them. For instance, some people who are suffering from heart-related diseases are more likely to be hurt while playing violent sports such as gliding or horse racing; therefore, they should select some mild exercise like jogging or swimming.

    In conclusion, I believe that sports have played a significant role in our daily life. Proper exercise can benefit our health then improve our standard of living and prolong our life expectation. But we should be aware that not any kinds of exercises are suitable to everyone.

    (273words)

  2. #2
    Raymott's Avatar
    Raymott is offline VIP Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Academic
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Australia
      • Current Location:
      • Australia
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    20,219
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: help!! Why should people do enough exercise?

    Quote Originally Posted by nixgnoy View Post
    Would you please give me some suggestions? Thank you very much!:)

    Topic: Why should people do enough exercise? What is your opinion? (within 300 words, at least 250 words; IELTS for GENERAL TRAINING)

    As a healthy lifestyle and recreation, playing sports has recently become increasingly popular around the world. In my opinion, it is worthwhile for people, whoever they are, teenagers or the elderly, to play sports. Although, there are still some people who do not have sufficient exercise and consider it as a waste of time.

    Appropriate aerobic exercise can physically and mentally enhance people’s health. It can release people’s psychological pressure that comes from fierce social competition and severe financial stresses, due to its function as a kind of entertainment that make people relax. In addition, for those who lead a sedentary lifestyle and become over weight, proper exercise can stimulate the circulation of the blood and accelerate the elimination of wastes from the body. Moreover, for those minor ailments like having the influenza or catching a fever, combining with exercise such as going out for a walk will be better than simply medical treatment.

    On the other hand, not everyone in any condition can benefit from any kinds of sports. In other words, people should be careful when choosing a kind of sport that is more suitable to them. For instance, some people who are suffering from heart-related diseases are more likely to be hurt while playing violent sports such as gliding or horse racing; therefore, they should select some mild exercise like jogging or swimming.

    In conclusion, I believe that sports have played a significant role in our daily life. Proper exercise can benefit our health then and improve our standard of living and prolong our life expectation. But we should be aware that not just any kinds of exercises are suitable to everyone.

    (273words)
    Hmm. This did not need correction, and I'm wondering why.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    28
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: help!! Why should people do enough exercise?

    Dear Professor Raymott:

    Why I can write this essay better? I think that may involve in a comparatively longer story, and it is better to narrate it form how I make a sentence. For example, I come up with an idea in Chinese, or in English directly; then I think out some relevant words, let's say, "blood" and "circulation"; then I refer to a dictionary call "OXFORD COLLOCATIONS DICTIONARY" and find out their collocation, that is "stimulate the circulation of the blood" finally, I make my sentence "proper exercise can stimulate the circulation of the blood". but unfortunately, I make a grammatical mistake on "accelerate to eliminate the wastes of the body".

    In addition, I have memorized about 10,000 English words, so it is not difficult for me to come up with a relevant word. However, my ability of collocating words is quite weak, and my grammar is also not good. Even in case of that, I don't need to refer to dictionaries frequently, because I am an IELTS candidate and I have continued my hard work for two years and therefore, being familiar with many basic sentence constructions of English. Moreover, I utilize the sofeware "OFFICE WORD" to edit my essay. As a result, it helps me correct many minor mistakes in terms of "spelling" or "capitals",etc..

    by the way, I have a superiority in writing medical topic because I have some relevant genes about medicane (just a joy). The actual reason is that my father once was a cardiovascular practitioner, and I have been taught some basic knowledge about man-body since I was a child, but now he has retired and become a share investor (but it just involve in a small sum of money). What I want to say is that I can be easier to come up with ideas in my familiar region, but others, let's say, money and happiness, I have no idea.

    But why I quoted some information form the Internet in my first essay and finally I made more mistakes than this one? I think that it could be that I lack of confidence. In fact, my chinese writing is quite good. I once won a championship in a writing competition in my school days and this composition has been collected and published in a book. However, I always think that I can't write a good English essay, because my essays have never been corrected and I have never known that what my English level was. Consequently, I asked the Internet for help. In the first essay, I combined others ideas and sentenses with my ideas and sentences, but those ideas and sentences are quite isolated and being mixed by me mechanically, finally, a monster was made. In this essay, I use my own idea and follow it, as a result, I make less mistakes than the first one. The reason why I change ways in writing English essay is the purpose why I do want to apprciate you. In fact, I was shock when I learned your message saying that "most parts of this essay could be writen by a native", because I was immediately aware of the fact that I was wrong. Imaginably, not only a native speaker can detect it at the first sight, but also I can learn nothing. I have learned that I may refer to others ideas, but I do ought not to copy others sentences.

    Professor Raymott, I am most grateful for your help, not only in studying English, but in learning leading a valuable life. I learned that honesty is the best policy and confidence constitutes achievement. Thank you very much again!

    Yours Truly,
    Peter
    (By the way, are there any mistakes in my letter? Would you pls tell me? Thank you!)
    Last edited by nixgnoy; 07-Mar-2010 at 13:41.

  4. #4
    Raymott's Avatar
    Raymott is offline VIP Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Academic
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Australia
      • Current Location:
      • Australia
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    20,219
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: help!! Why should people do enough exercise?

    OK, nixgnoy, I understand your situation now.

Similar Threads

  1. [Essay] people are living longer
    By san2612 in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 04-Oct-2009, 13:57
  2. help!!! i hope this sounds better...
    By stephiejo in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 28-Feb-2009, 08:25
  3. Replies: 0
    Last Post: 27-Feb-2009, 01:59

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •