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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
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    Default Cover letter Proof Read Needed Please!

    Hi All,

    I was wondering if someone could please proof read my cover letter. Please feel free to make any changes if necessary.

    Thank you so much in advance.

    Regards,
    Steve
    __________________________________________________ ______
    Re: Mechanical Engineer (HVAC)


    Dear Sir/Madam,

    In response to your advertisement for the above position as disclosed on the Seek website, I would like to offer my application. After reading the description for this opportunity, I am sure I have the relevant experience, drive and ability required.

    Over the past twelve months, I have been working as a graduate mechanical engineer with XXX Company in its mining and industrial sector. Although my experience has been in the mining and industrial industry, I am so keen to develop my expertise on HVAC design projects. In my current position, I have worked on a range of projects and have developed a wide range of professional skills specialising in pump and piping design. In addition, I have demonstrated strong interpersonal and communication skills on a daily basis, and excellent analytical and problem solving skills.

    YYY Company particularly appeals to me because your company is one of the leading multi-disciplines building services firms in Western Australia, which offers a challenging and stimulating work environment. Furthermore, this position offers the opportunities to gain hands-on experience on a variety of tasks within the building services industry, which will enable me to develop knowledge and skills required to become a mechanical building service engineer.

    Thank you for reviewing my application. Please find enclosed a copy of my resume and academic transcripts. I believe my technical experience and educational background coupled with my knowledge and desire to succeed give me a unique blend of skills that would greatly benefit your company, and would welcome the opportunity to discuss my application in more detail at an interview.


    Yours sincerely,
    My Name

  2. #2
    tedtmc is offline Key Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Interested in Language
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • Malaysia
      • Current Location:
      • Malaysia
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: Cover letter Proof Read Needed Please!

    not a teacher

    some suggestions:

    Dear Sir/Madam,

    In response to your advertisement for the above position as disclosed(which appeared ) on the Seek website, I would like to offer(submit) my application. After reading the description for this opportunity, I am sure I have the relevant experience, drive and ability required.

    Over the past twelve months, I have been working as a graduate mechanical engineer with XXX Company in its'(its, no apostophe or 'the') mining and industrial sector. Although my experience has been in the mining and industrial industry, I am so (very)keen to develop my expertise on HVAC design projects. In my current position, I have worked on a range of projects and have developed a wide range of professional skills specialising in pump and piping design. In addition, I have demonstrated strong interpersonal and communication skills (on a daily basis, delete), and excellent analytical and problem solving skills.

    YYY Company particularly appeals to me because your company is one of the leading multi-disciplines(multi-disciplinary) building services firms in western(Western, capitalized) Australia, which offers a challenging and stimulating work environment. Furthermore, this position offers the opportunities to gain hands-on experience on in(delete on) a variety of tasks within the building services industry, which will enable me to develop the knowledge and skills required to become a mechanical building service engineer.

    Thank you for reviewing(considering) my application. Please find enclosed a copy of my resume and academic transcripts. I believe my technical experience and educational background, coupled with my knowledge and desire to succeed, give me a unique blend of skills that would greatly benefit your company, and I would welcome the opportunity to discuss my application in more detail at an interview.


    Yours sincerely,
    My Name

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