Cover letter Proof Read Needed Please!

Status
Not open for further replies.

steve37

New member
Joined
Mar 5, 2010
Member Type
Other
Hi All,

I was wondering if someone could please proof read my cover letter. Please feel free to make any changes if necessary.

Thank you so much in advance.

Regards,
Steve
________________________________________________________
Re: Mechanical Engineer (HVAC)


Dear Sir/Madam,

In response to your advertisement for the above position as disclosed on the Seek website, I would like to offer my application. After reading the description for this opportunity, I am sure I have the relevant experience, drive and ability required.

Over the past twelve months, I have been working as a graduate mechanical engineer with XXX Company in its mining and industrial sector. Although my experience has been in the mining and industrial industry, I am so keen to develop my expertise on HVAC design projects. In my current position, I have worked on a range of projects and have developed a wide range of professional skills specialising in pump and piping design. In addition, I have demonstrated strong interpersonal and communication skills on a daily basis, and excellent analytical and problem solving skills.

YYY Company particularly appeals to me because your company is one of the leading multi-disciplines building services firms in Western Australia, which offers a challenging and stimulating work environment. Furthermore, this position offers the opportunities to gain hands-on experience on a variety of tasks within the building services industry, which will enable me to develop knowledge and skills required to become a mechanical building service engineer.

Thank you for reviewing my application. Please find enclosed a copy of my resume and academic transcripts. I believe my technical experience and educational background coupled with my knowledge and desire to succeed give me a unique blend of skills that would greatly benefit your company, and would welcome the opportunity to discuss my application in more detail at an interview.


Yours sincerely,
My Name
 

tedtmc

Key Member
Joined
Jun 12, 2006
Member Type
Interested in Language
Native Language
Chinese
Home Country
Malaysia
Current Location
Malaysia
not a teacher

some suggestions:

Dear Sir/Madam,

In response to your advertisement for the above position as disclosed(which appeared ) on the Seek website, I would like to offer(submit) my application. After reading the description for this opportunity, I am sure I have the relevant experience, drive and ability required.

Over the past twelve months, I have been working as a graduate mechanical engineer with XXX Company in its'(its, no apostophe or 'the') mining and industrial sector. Although my experience has been in the mining and industrial industry, I am so (very)keen to develop my expertise on HVAC design projects. In my current position, I have worked on a range of projects and have developed a wide range of professional skills specialising in pump and piping design. In addition, I have demonstrated strong interpersonal and communication skills (on a daily basis, delete), and excellent analytical and problem solving skills.

YYY Company particularly appeals to me because your company is one of the leading multi-disciplines(multi-disciplinary) building services firms in western(Western, capitalized) Australia, which offers a challenging and stimulating work environment. Furthermore, this position offers the opportunities to gain hands-on experience on in(delete on) a variety of tasks within the building services industry, which will enable me to develop the knowledge and skills required to become a mechanical building service engineer.

Thank you for reviewing(considering) my application. Please find enclosed a copy of my resume and academic transcripts. I believe my technical experience and educational background, coupled with my knowledge and desire to succeed, give me a unique blend of skills that would greatly benefit your company, and I would welcome the opportunity to discuss my application in more detail at an interview.


Yours sincerely,
My Name
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top