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  1. #1
    tvmtuan is offline Newbie
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    Default Academic goals essay

    Hello everybody,
    I am applying for a scholarship and they ask me to write a short essay describing my academic goals. My academic goal is to earn a degree in Web Development. I wrote one. Would you please revise it for me. Since my native language is not English, and I have just been writing in English for a short period of time, there might be some confusing sentences. Please, let me know if there are any :)

    Here is my essay:

    My academic goal is to earn a degree in Web Development major. That is the reason why I attended to the University of Arkansas at Fort Smith with that major. After I achieve my academic goal, I can start my career as a web developer. I really love this major, and I know I am going to be successful with this major.
    Since I was a child, I was fascinated in computers. I love every aspect of it, especially in developing websites. Back to the days when I was in junior high school, when I was first working with a computer in my school, I was impressed when I learned how the machine worked. At the time, I knew that I would follow a major related to computer when I go to college. My goal became more specific when I was in senior high school. At that time, I wanted to make a website for my club in my school. I was the only person who knew about computer in my club, so I did a research about how to develop a website. As the research moved on, I was amazed by the world of website developing. I fell in love with the work of developing websites, and I knew that my major in college will be Web Development.
    I have prepared well for my major in college. I took some courses about computer and website developing in high school, so I have a good understanding of web development. I feel very confident in college because of my preparation. I know that I will become successful in my academic goal because not only I prepared well for my college but also I love my major.
    When you are interested in something, you are going to do it with passion. That is my case. I really enjoy the courses which I am taking in my college. I know that I am going to achieve my academic goal which is to earn a degree in Web Development with good grades.
    Last edited by tvmtuan; 07-Mar-2010 at 15:06.

  2. #2
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    fighting spirit is offline Member
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    Default Re: Academic goals essay

    Pay attention to your grammar!

    First of all, you should know what a good essay consists of.

    1. General Statement

    Here, you should clearly state your goals. I don't think having a certain degree would be enough. Include the knowledge you can get. Remember, when writing this kind of letters, you should be, let's say a "toady".
    I suggest leaving the general statement for the end.

    2. The Body

    As many goals as many paragraphs.
    Elaborate each goal in a separate paragraph. Provide them with some supportive ideas.

    3. The Conclusion

    The summary of your elaborated goals. It should be connected with the general statement.


    When writing an essay, my student write the body first. Then, they find different topics in the paragraphs and do the general statement. But you can start from the beginning if you find it easier.

  3. #3
    tvmtuan is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: Academic goals essay

    Thank you for your comment. I think I'm going to add the knowledge that I'm going to achieve in my essay.

  4. #4
    billmcd is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: Academic goals essay

    I have made some minor changes to help the essay read/flow a little better. Please compare to your original. Otherwise, I think you have expressed yourself about your passion for the technology very simply and very well.

  5. #5
    billmcd is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: Academic goals essay

    Sorry, I forgot to append on my previous post.

    My academic goal is to earn a degree in Web Development. That is the reason I attended the University of Arkansas at Fort Smith with that major. After I achieve my academic goal, I can start my career as a web developer. I really love this major, and I know I am going to be successful with it.

    Since I was a child, I was fascinated with computer technology. I love every aspect of it, especially in developing websites. Back in the days when I was in junior high school, when I was first working with a computer in my school, I was impressed with how the machine worked. At the time, I knew that I would pursue a major related to computers when I would go to college. My goal became more specific when I was in senior high school. At that time, I wanted to develop a website for my club in my school. I was the only person who knew about computers in my club, so I did some research about how to develop a website. As I proceeded with my research, I was amazed by the world of website development. I fell in love with the work of developing websites, and I knew that my major in college would be Web Development.

    I have prepared well for my major in college. I took some courses in computer and website development in high school, so I have a good understanding of the technology. I feel very confident in college because of my preparation. I know that I will become successful in my academic goal because not only have I prepared well for my college, but also I love my major.

    When you are interested in something, you are going to do it with passion. That is my case. I really enjoy the courses that I am taking in college. I know that I am going to achieve my academic goal which is to earn a degree in Web Development with good grades.

  6. #6
    tvmtuan is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: Academic goals essay

    Thanh you for your comment and your editing ^^.

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