Hi, I took a look at your letter and made some remarks.
Hope you find my remarks helpful.
Good luck! :)
Most of all, I am very pleased to introduce myself to you and your company.
Thanks to our parents who had very respectful and well-paid jobs, my brother/sister and I lived relatively affluent lives. My father is (used to be?) a teacher and my mother - an employee in one of the biggest firms in Korea. I learned sincerity and modesty from my father, who is strict and domestic . He has motivated me to become an active and kind person who helps others and gets together with those, who are weaker and poorer than himself. Therefore, I have tried to help the people who are inferior to me and participated in volunteer activities. Besides, I was committed to various activities like Boy Scout, Soccer Club and Literary Club. These experiences taught me not only to be tolerant to the opinions of others, but also gave me the tools to adapt to every environment.
I got an opportunity to go to America when I was a university student. My grades were good and I met all the English requirements, therefore, I got a permission to go the State University of New York as an exchange student for one semester. It was great time for me because I had chance to study with students from other countries and I gained a lot of experience from various cultural activities and traveled around east of America in states such as Washington, Atlanta and Chicago to visit museums and various memorials. In addition, I had been engaged in a stock club during the university and served as its president for one year. I took part in an investment contest held in securities firms and used to have weekly discussions about stock (market) and investment with my colleagues. It was a good time to learn about the stock market and investment deeper than before (what did you mean?) and I widened my knowledge and economic views.
After graduating (from university), I had worked in X-TOP Planning Limited which is a small construction firm with annual turnover of over $ 2million for 7 months (when you say “annual” - it's for one year; but then you say “7 months” - so you should decide what time span you're talking about). I was new employee so I could not participate in any important projects directly but helped and prepared some documents and reports for the process of contract and presentation. Although I was unable to handle important projects and jobs, I acquired substantial amount of knowledge and skills in the field of management, team work and communication. That time, I realized that I need more academic experience so that I decided to study abroad.
I completed the Graduate Diploma in Commerce focusing on Finance and Accounting in University of Auckland. This qualification was a step up from my B.A in Business from University in Korea. I took my studies very seriously and acquired theoretical and professional knowledge about finance and accounting while attending Graduate Diploma course in the University of Auckland for two years. My studying abroad contributed to a proficient English, cultivated my international sense and expanded my perspective vision of the world in a more mature way.
My strong point is, that I have a powerful driving force. This means, that if I have goals or given jobs (tasks), I will always do my best and assuredly achieve them. Being persistent as I am, I never give up my jobs and take the chance again even if I fail. However, I am very decisive so I often dispute with others, not ready to give up my opinion easily. I tell my opponents exactly what I think if I believe that my opinion is right. That is my weak point.
However, I would accept my opponents’ opinion if they show me appropriate reasons or produce figures to prove their point.
Finally, I will introduce my favorite word. It is: “Stay hungry, Stay foolish”, that was addressed by Steven Jobs, CEOof Apple, at Harvard University commencement. I know that I have nothing special to be proud of, but I always try to improve my ability, meet challenges and change myself for good.
I believe, my qualifications, experiences and interests will stand me at a good stead in your company. I always do my best and perform my sincerity and responsibility in whatever task I am committed to and I make it a rule to enjoy doing every task that is assigned to me with a strong sense of responsibility. If you give me a chance to work for your firm, I will strive to achieve productive outcome with a positive and progressive thought and way of maintaining close relationship with my fellow colleagues.