Hi, everyone. Now I intend to apply for a grant of the private company in my country. What I will propose is a master’s degree in game development field in the U.S. The rules say that I have to write 2 essays; Proposed Program Plan and Biographical Statement.

Please help me check them about errors in grammar and word usages. And I wrote around 440-450 words in each essay although the limitation is 400. So please tell me which part of the essays sounds redundant and can be deleted. Because I wrote them myself, I can’t judge them clearly. You can also tell whatever you think after reading. All your advices will be very helpful to me.

Thank you very much.
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1. Proposed Program Plan

Another thing gamers always get from playing video games, besides enjoyment, is experience. They can play in any roles they need; a cook in a lovely kitchen, a knight in the Middle Ages, or even a creature from outer space. In order to design all those games, game designers who create concepts and set rules of each game’s world need to be experienced professionals. Therefore, I believe a further study in game development field, especially in game design part, would give me more experiences and make me a better game designer.

I always dreamed about working in game industry since I was young. Fortunately, I got this job after graduation although I myself did not study in game design directly. However, playing games and gaining design knowledge from the university have taught me necessary principles. I had designed and wrote about 20 game design documents for the company before resignation. Then I have work with other freelance developers to develop an iPhone game application because I want to create independent games without company’s commercial restrictions, and to try the iTunes Store market which has dramatically grown in recent years. Our first game will have finished within this year.

Study in the United States would be very helpful for me to do what I am doing. According to my research, the U.S. is the biggest game market in the world. It also has several well-known universities, such as Full Sail, the Guildhall at SMU, and so on, particularly educating in game development field. A master’s degree in game design program I proposed will both theoretically and practically instruct students in all aspects of game design and whole development processes. What experience will student get? They will, for example, learn deeper design mechanics to create more innovative games, more organized leadership and team management principles which are necessary when developing in bigger-scaled production, and uses of more advanced tools to keep working processes more efficient. The 2 features I like most are developing playable games for a thesis with other students who are form different background but loving games alike, and the opportunity to study with veteran instructors who have already made blockbuster games. All this experience can hardly be found in Thailand the game industry of which is still developing.

I plan to establish a small game studio in the future to develop independent games and accomplish my own goal. When time comes, The Thai and global game industry will be more developed. I wish that I can be a part of the development of the industry that I love. And I realize that only more and more experiences could get me there.
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2. Biographical Statement

When I was 10 years old, my parents bought me the first video game. I have played a number of various, profound and inspiring games since then. Every single glimpse on them has given me the only goal of mine and led the path to where I am standing. I cannot even imagine what I would be now if I had not played games. For me, games are friends, teachers, and idols because they have really influenced my life in many ways.

The decision of the undergraduate course I took is one of the apparent examples of this. I chose to major in Communication Design for 2 reasons. First, in that time, there was no university in Thailand offering a bachelor’s degree in game design. Another was that graduation from this course might allow me to be a game graphic designer. The study taught me a lot. I got design principles, learned how to be a creative and logical thinker and to appropriately communicate ideas to receivers. All knowledge I gained and my passion with video games made me decide to do a thesis about designing game. I created the parody flash game named ‘XXX,’ which combined ‘XXX’ and ‘XXX’ together. While I was presenting the finished work to teachers and friends, I saw them watch and laugh at its jokes. I was very impressed and thought this might be the same feeling of game developers when launching their works to gamers. It repeated how much I wanted to work in gaming field.

After graduation, when I was looking for a job, the company held the competition called ‘XXX,’ which required competitors to write design document of a game on Nintendo Wii platform. I attended by designing the puzzle game named ‘XXX,’ which I got an idea from biology lessons in secondary school. Eventually, I won the 1st prize and was offered a game designer position at the company. I had no hesitation to accept it. I also got another 2nd prize from the smart phone application design competition called ‘XXX’ together with other freelance developers with whom I am working to develop another game now.

What I am all trying to do is to accomplish my goal which is the same one since it started; to design the original games which will inspire people like once I experienced. I know it will not be that easy and be a very long way to go, but I also know I will be accompanied by video games which are also my friends, teachers, and idols. To be continued...