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  1. #1
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    Smile Please look for grammatical errors

    My love life
    My fiancé and I have been together for one year and would stay together for the rest of our lives. To the scientist, it is nothing more than a pre-programmed, biochemical response. Love is a word for the poet. This was how it had to be and any talk of emotions just muddied the picture. This all started with a casual conversation, randomly, but who knew that I would fall in love with this wonderful guy and marry him one day? He is one of a kind a guy whom I have admired, respected and loved for sure.
    So, this all started with a text message that I received at 6:00 am 20th May, 2009. The morning started with a bright light of the sun, coming through the window over on my face. The chirping of birds, the sound of the watchmen’s whistle, and the ringing bell of the ice-cream seller, was in the air. Usually, I never wake up to check my phone messages or call when I’m asleep but that day, something was different, I was half asleep as I hate waking up so early in the morning. I opened my eyes slowly; trying to look at my cell phone screen and read the message, and there it was, a message from an unknown number. The message said- “Hi, I just wanted to talk to you, if you do not mind. If you do not want to talk, it’s ok.” I was quiet surprised to see such a message from an unknown number, so I replied back rudely, as I do not like such things. Then, I received a reply to my text messenger saying- “Sorry to message you, I am just your well wisher.”
    I was really angry with this message so I called up my friend to know if someone has leaked my number somewhere, because I never give my cell phone number just like that to anyone. He is one of my very best friends, whom I can trust blindly and being a guy, I thought he would be able to handle this situation more correctly. He has always been there for me whenever I needed someone and I knew that if I will tell him about this text message, he would definitely. He told me that she did not give to anyone so it must be someone who I know.
    I gave the number to one of my friend to help me find out who messaged me on my cell phone. I got to know that no one had given my number anywhere and then I was more worried. I sent a message to that number again, asking who it was and how he got my number. I got a reply saying- “You know me and I cannot tell you, how I got your number.” Then I replied to him saying that I want to know because it’s not a normal thing for me. He replied with his name but I still did not know who he was, so I asked him how he knew me because I didn’t know him. He said we have met many times but maybe you never noticed me.
    Eventually, yes I knew him as I was familiar to him through my parents. I said sorry to him for replying rudely and then our conversation increased as I started liking him a lot. While having a conversation with him on messages, I realized that there was something that dragged me towards him, even when I didn’t even knew who he was, how he looks and where is he from? This feeling was disturbing me all through out that day and I was expecting to get his text message again without any reason. There it was, at 11am, his text message saying that he wants to talk to me on phone. I was scared as well as little excited and I replied to him saying that I will talk to him.
    Our conversation increased after we had a chat over the phone. He called me up that night and we talked for the whole night. I still remember the night, it was full moon and the street lights were not working but the whole place was lightened with the shine of moonlight. I wanted to meet him but I was afraid to ask him to meet me. I wanted to see how he looks, but I was afraid of saying that to him too. I could not believe that I am talking to a guy who just texted me in the morning saying he likes me, but this is what was happening, I was talking to this guy and I was happy. He started the conversation by saying that he wants to know me, how am I, what I like/dislike? The whole night went in this conversation and when I saw the sun coming out of nowhere, looking just beautiful, I was bewildered to realize that I was talking to this guy for the whole night. The morning has never been so beautiful and soothing.
    I knew this is going to go far, and I was sure that he is the person whom I would marry.
    He told me that he loves me and wants to get married to me but I was shocked because I have not heard anything like this ever in my life. He said that I should talk to my parents about us so that we can take the second step to our relationship. I was scared to tell my mother at that time. India might be a cosmopolitan country now, but the culture and traditions are the same. People cannot marry outside their caste or culture because it is considered against the ancestral traditions.
    We were quiet scared to tell our parents but then we had no choice but to tell them about our relationship. His parents agreed in some days after so much of efforts but my parents were not ready for this relationship because they thought that I will not be happy with him and hence I should not marry him
    People have realized that a successful marriage is not dependent on factors such as same caste and religion. It is on the other hand, built on the aspects of mutual understanding and compatibility. It is how well the two understand each other's need and feel for your partner. It is not necessary that you have to belong to the same community or caste to understand your spouse better. Today, there are ample of examples when two people from totally different background and lifestyle come together and spend their entire life happy with each other, thanks to education.
    We started talking on the phone more frequently and after a week, we decided to meet. He told me to come to Pizza Hut. The day was very fine and calm, I left my home wearing a black T-shirt and a jeans, took a rikshaw, from near my house and reached the Pizza Hut, right at the time. I could see so many couples around me, which I never noticed before. I was scared because I didn’t know what I will say to him or what I will ask him. I had never seen him, so I was trying to look around for him, and it was quiet funny, because I was looking at every other guy. He came and tapped on my shoulder, from the back and I turned around to look at him. That moment was the most special moment of my life, because that was the first time, we looked at each other in each other’s eyes. He was handsome and cute. I was charmed with his personality and my thought of being disappointed, just disappeared. The most special moment of our first meeting was, when he touched my baby finger. There was something that he liked about it, he always used to touch my baby finger and when I used to ask him what do you like about it? He used to say I just like holding this finger, it’s so tiny.
    Our first meeting was a bit formal as we both were quiet nervous to talk to each other but by the time we met for more three times, we were so close to each other. I had the best days of my life with him in our first few meetings.

    There were many conflicts between the two families over our relationship which was very depressing for Gaurav (my fiancé) and I, but then we decided to convince everyone when time gets better, so that everything cools down. After a period of time, we talked to our parents again and this time we could convince them that we really love each other and want to spend our whole life together. As I’m still doing my bachelor’s right now, our parents have now decided to get us married by the end of my last year of college.

  2. #2
    tedtmc is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: Please look for grammatical errors

    talk of emotions just muddied the picture.
    Do you mean 'muddled'?

  3. #3
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    Raymott is offline VIP Member
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    Default Re: Please look for grammatical errors

    Quote Originally Posted by tedtmc View Post
    Do you mean 'muddled'?
    No, 'muddied' means 'made muddy' as if it has mud splattered all over it.

  4. #4
    tedtmc is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: Please look for grammatical errors

    Quote Originally Posted by Raymott View Post
    No, 'muddied' means 'made muddy' as if it has mud splattered all over it.
    make a picture muddy?
    So, which word do you think is more appropriate in the context - muddied or muddled?
    Last edited by tedtmc; 23-Mar-2010 at 09:33.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Please look for grammatical errors

    Quote Originally Posted by tedtmc View Post
    make a picture muddy?
    So, which word do you think is more appropriate in the context - muddied or muddled?
    I don't think it matters. They both work. It's the least of this writer's problems.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Please look for grammatical errors

    Quote Originally Posted by goonj View Post
    My love life
    My fiancé and I have been together for one year and would will stay together for the rest of our lives.
    With 'would', this is a conditional clause, but you've given no condition under which you would stay together.
    To the scientist, it is nothing more than a pre-programmed, biochemical response. Love is a word for the poet. This was how it had to be and any talk of emotions just muddied the picture. This all started with a casual conversation, randomly, but who knew that I would fall in love [?] with this wonderful guy and marry him one day? He is one of a kind, a guy whom I have admired, respected and loved [?] for sure.
    So, you're a poet then, not a scientist?
    So, this all started with a text message that I received at 6:00 am 20th May, 2009. The morning started with a bright light of the sun, coming through the window over on my face. The chirping of birds, the sound of the watchman’s whistle, and the ringing bell of the ice-cream seller was were in the air. Usually, I never wake up to check my phone messages or call when I’m asleep [I think it's wise not to make calls while you're asleep!] but that day, something was different, I was half asleep as I hate waking up so early in the morning. I opened my eyes slowly, trying to look at my cell phone screen and read the message, and there it was, a message from an unknown number. The message said, “Hi, I just wanted to talk to you, if you do not mind. If you do not want to talk, it’s ok.” I was quiet quite surprised to see such a message from an unknown number, so I replied back rudely, as I do not like such things. Then, I received a reply to my text messenger saying, “Sorry to message you, I am just your well wisher.”

    I was really angry with this message so I called up my friend to know if someone has leaked my number somewhere, because I never give my cell phone number just like that to anyone. He is one of my very best friends, whom I can trust blindly and being a guy, I thought he would be able to handle this situation more correctly. He has always been there for me whenever I needed someone and I knew that if I will tell told him about this text message, he would definitely. [He would definitely what?] He told me that she did not give it to anyone so it must be someone who I know. [Who is 'she'? So far, if I've followed you, you've mentioned yourself, a male caller and your male friend]
    [Skipped]
    ...
    There were many conflicts between the two families over our relationship which was very depressing for Gaurav (my fiancé) and Ime, but then we decided to convince everyone when time gets better, so that everything cools down. After a period of time, we talked to our parents again and this time we could convince them that we really love each other and want to spend our whole life together. As I’m still doing my bachelor’s right now, our parents have now decided to get us married by the end of my last year of college.
    I think there might be too much informal American language here for me to correct it.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Please look for grammatical errors

    i meant "he" instead of she.That was a mistake.Thank you so much for correcting my grammatical errors.

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