Re: Is my thesis statement any good?
Gray, you put an ungrammatical construction in (was happened) and changed words in a way that changed the meaning.
Legion: I'd suggest instead of this: "the decisions that were made" it be this: "decisions made"
(You really think the entire thing was Kennedy's fault? I wasn't alive then either, but I think there was one more than one person at that dance.)
I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.