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  1. #1
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    Smile Kindly check for grammatical errors and any other mistakes

    My love life
    My fiancť and I have been together for one year and would get married as soon as I finish my bachelorís degree. To the scientist, it is nothing more than a pre-programmed, biochemical response. Love is a word for the poet. This was how it had to be and any talk of emotions just muddied the picture. This all started with a casual conversation, randomly, but who knew that I would fall in love with this wonderful guy and marry him one day? He is one of a kind a guy whom I have admired, respected and loved for sure.
    So, this all started with a text message that I received at 6:00 am 20th May, 2009. The morning started with a bright light of the sun, coming through the window over on my face. I was turning over and over again from one side to the other side, on my bed. The sweet breeze was blowing away my hairs, from my face. The chirping of birds, the sound of the watchmanís whistle, and the ringing bell of the ice-cream seller were in the air. I usually sleep with my brother and my sister, so itís very likely for them to roll over the bed, as they are quite young. I generally keep my cell phone under my pillow, so that my sleep isnít disturbed. Usually, I never wake up to check my phone messages or call when Iím asleep but that day, something was different, I was half asleep as I hate waking up so early in the morning. I opened my eyes slowly, trying to look at my cell phone screen and read the message, and there it was a message from an unknown number. The message said, ďHi, I just wanted to talk to you, if you do not mind. If you do not want to talk, itís ok.Ē I was quite surprised to see such a message from an unknown number, so I replied back rudely, as I do not like such things. Then, I received a reply to my text messenger saying- ďSorry to message you, I am just your well wisher.Ē
    I was really angry with this message so I called up my friend (Shruti) to know if someone has leaked my number somewhere, because I never give my cell phone number just like that to anyone. She is one of my very best friends, whom I can trust blindly and being a guy, I thought she would be able to handle this situation more correctly. She has always been there for me whenever I needed someone and I knew that if I told him about this text message, she would definitely help me out. She told me that he did not give to anyone so it must be someone who I know. I gave the number to Shruti to help me in finding out who messaged me on my cell phone. I got to know that no one had given my number anywhere and then I was more worried. I sent a message to that number again, asking who it was and how he got my number. I got a reply saying- ďYou know me and I cannot tell you, how I got your number.Ē Then I replied to him saying that I want to know because itís not a normal thing for me. I was very impatient because I wanted to know who the person was. After a while, I texted him saying that I cannot talk to you without knowing your name. He replied back saying, ďThis is Gaurav Sharma, your tenant.Ē I was shocked to the core, as if I saw a ghost. The funny thing was that even after he told me his name, I did not know who he was, because I have not ever seen him, so I asked him how he knew me because I didnít know him. He said we have met many times but maybe you never noticed me. This was the moment when all the moments from the past, rushed through in my mind. I have seen him but never noticed him, I have heard him but I never cared to look who he was. I was felt bad because he used to live in my house and I had never seen him.
    Eventually, yes I knew him indirectly, as I was familiar to him through my parents. I said sorry to him for replying rudely in the morning and then our conversation increased as I started liking him a lot. While having a conversation with him on messages, I realized that there was something that dragged me towards him, even when I didnít even know who he was, how he looks and where is he from? This feeling was disturbing me all through out that day and I was expecting to get his text message again without any reason. There it was, at 11am, his text message saying that he wants to talk to me on phone. I was scared as well as little excited and I replied to him saying that I will talk to him. Our conversation increased after we had a chat over the phone. He called me up that night and we talked for the whole night. I still remember the night, it was full moon and the street lights were not working but the whole place was lightened with the shine of moonlight. I wanted to meet him but I was afraid to ask him to meet me. I wanted to see how he looks, but I was afraid of saying that to him too. I could not believe that I was talking to a guy who just texted me in the morning saying he likes me, but this is what was happening, I was talking to this guy and I was happy. He started the conversation by saying that he wants to know me, how am I, what I like/dislike? The whole night went in this conversation and when I saw the sun coming out of nowhere, looking just beautiful, I was bewildered to realize that I was talking to this guy for the whole night. The morning has never been so beautiful and soothing.
    I knew this was going to go far, and I was sure that he was the person whom I would marry. He told me that he loves me and wants to get married to me but I was shocked because I have not heard anything like this ever in my life. He said that I should talk to my parents about us so that we can take the second step to our relationship. I was scared to tell my mother at that time. India might be a cosmopolitan country now, but the culture and traditions are the same. People cannot marry outside their caste or culture because it is considered against the ancestral traditions.
    We started talking on the phone more frequently and after a week, we decided to meet. He told me to come to Pizza Hut. The day was very fine and calm, I left my home wearing a black T-shirt and a jeans, took a rikshaw, from near my house and reached the Pizza Hut, right at the time. I could see so many couples around me, which I never noticed before. I was scared because I didnít know what I will say to him or what I will ask him. I had never seen him, so I was trying to look around for him, and it was quite funny, because I was looking at every other guy. He came and tapped on my shoulder, from the back and I turned around to look at him. That moment was the most special moment of my life, because that was the first time, we looked at each other in each otherís eyes. He was handsome and cute. I was charmed with his personality and my thought of being disappointed, just disappeared. We entered Pizza Hut; it was very crowded as it was a weekend. We waited outside for getting a seat. The weather was good, as it wasnít too sunny that day. He was wearing a shirt with tiny stars on it. I liked everything about him and I was really happy to meet him. Finally, we got a seat in the corner of the restaurant, which was just perfect for us to get into a conversation. We started talking about the messages that we were exchanging since morning. He started laughing at me when I told him that I havenít seen him ever. He asked me to order the pizza so that we can go out somewhere else. The most special moment of our first meeting was, when he touched my baby finger. He was watching my hand every other moment, and then he just came forward and touched my baby finger. I got scared and I was freezed, as if something just moved my soul. I wanted to back off but I could not, I was just freezed. He said I like your finger; itís so tiny and cute. I didnít knew what to say, so I just gave a smile to him.
    There was something that he liked about it, he always used to touch my baby finger and when I used to ask him what do you like about it? He used to say I just like holding this finger, itís so tiny. Our first meeting was a bit formal as we both were quiet nervous to talk to each other but by the time we met for more three times, we were so close to each other. I had the best days of my life with him in our first few meetings.
    We were quiet scared to tell our parents but then we had no choice but to tell them about our relationship. His parents agreed in some days after so much of efforts but my parents were not ready for this relationship because they thought that I will not be happy with him and hence I should not marry him.People have realized that a successful marriage is not dependent on factors such as same caste and religion. It is on the other hand, built on the aspects of mutual understanding and compatibility. It is how well the two understand each other's need and feel for your partner. It is not necessary that you have to belong to the same community or caste to understand your spouse better. Today, there are ample of examples when two people from totally different background and lifestyle come together and spend their entire life happy with each other, thanks to education.
    There were many conflicts between the two families over our relationship which was very depressing for Gaurav (my fiancť) and I, but then we decided to convince everyone when time gets better, so that everything cools down. After a period of time, we talked to our parents again and this time we could convince them that we really love each other and want to spend our whole life together. As Iím still doing my bachelorís right now, our parents have now decided to get us married by the end of my last year of college.

  2. #2
    bds51 is offline Junior Member
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    Default Re: Kindly check for grammatical errors and any other mistakes

    Please don't ask us to do or correct your homework; this is a place to discuss language.

    This is a beautiful and moving account but given the length of your composition and that your mother tongue is English, your request is unreasonable and borders on thoughtlessness for others' time. This is work you should pay for and not hope someone will correct it for nothing.

  3. #3
    Raymott's Avatar
    Raymott is offline VIP Member
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    Default Re: Kindly check for grammatical errors and any other mistakes

    I see you've made some corrections that I gave you last week.
    http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/as...al-errors.html
    But the first sentence still sounds wrong.
    My fiancť and I have been together for one year and would will get married as soon as I finish my bachelorís degree.
    In what sense are you using 'would' here?

    Also, you still say "Love is a word for the poet", then you go one to talk about falling in love, etc. You should probably clarify that.

  4. #4
    Raymott's Avatar
    Raymott is offline VIP Member
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    Default Re: Kindly check for grammatical errors and any other mistakes

    I see you've made some corrections that I gave you last week.
    http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/as...al-errors.html
    But the first sentence still sounds wrong.
    My fiancť and I have been together for one year and would will get married as soon as I finish my bachelorís degree.
    In what sense are you using 'would' here?

    Also, you still say "Love is a word for the poet", then you go one to talk about falling in love, etc. Perhaps you mean that, before you fell in love, you felt that way. But you're using the present tense. You should probably clarify that.

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