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    • Join Date: May 2007
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    #1

    Past tense, help me to check this...

    2 years ago, I retired from my job of 2 years. The reason that make me retired is I was really stressed out. I had working for 12 hours everyday. In that time, I really needed a vacation. Every once in a while, I thought that I need go to anywhere could make me feel better. Because I retired, I have less money than I used to. With a little money, I can't go anywhere outside [mycountry].
    My uncles lived in ABC city. When he knew my situation, he told me to visit him. I didn't want to inconvenience him, but he really wants me to fly in. So, I flew to ABC city. I really loved that place. It was so beautiful. There are many places to go, to see, or to play. After 2 weeks, I gradually lost money. So, I thought it was time to take responsibility, I needed return.
    ---
    Thanks for reading...

    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • Arabic
      • Home Country:
      • Oman
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      • Oman

    • Join Date: Jan 2010
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    #2

    Re: Past tense, help me to check this...

    Hi
    I went thru the tenses and changed the wording a bit. Just suggestions! Hope you find it useful.

    Two years ago, I retired from my job that I stayed in for two years. The reason that made me retire was that I was really stressed out. I had to work for 12 hours every day. In that time, I really needed a vacation. Every once in a while, I thought that I needed to go somewhere that could make me feel better. Because I retired, I have less money than I used to. With a (delete 'a') little money, I can't go anywhere outside [my country].
    My uncles (one uncle? then delete the 's') lived in ABC city. When he knew my situation, he asked me to visit him/ or he recommended / suggested that I visit him. I didn't want to disappoint him, but he really wanted me to fly in. So, I flew to ABC city. I really loved that place. It is so beautiful. There are many places to go to and others to enjoy in. After two weeks, I started gradually losing money. So, I thought it was time to take responsibility. I needed to return.

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