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  1. #1
    qeron Guest

    Lightbulb Stories in creation

    I would lioke comments about this story and suggestions for other ideas (Swords, sorcery type) If you have a suggestion for a character or story, please make it unique and provide only an outline.

    -Thanks
    (and if you're really dense, the intro is completly made up to convince the reader of authority)

    These are the compiled works of the Silver Pedestal recompiled. Herein lie the records of the great, The Chronicles of the Legends . These stories have been reproduced from a time lost and retold in our own language. These are the tales of great and daring adventurers.
    The translation of these works took over three years, throughout which I have labored to put the words into understandable language. The vastness of these stories are great. Although they share a common bond of adventure and daring, they are unique as are the legends inside them. I hope you enjoy the fruit of my labor. Health, and well reading to you!

    Have fun,
    Qeron


    Kikar: Way of the Warrior

    Kikar is now remembered as the greatest warrior. He was skilled with sword and shield. His only flaws were his pride and egocentrism. He did not care for one other, and that is what brought his downfall. His story started as a young towns-boy, apprenticed to a nice, fairly old smithy.
    How he came to that trade it is unknown, but this was the beginning of his destiny. His master saw inside the young boy a passion to learn to wield the weapons he made, so he taught him what he knew.
    His smithy taught him to use a sword at the close of each day, when all had retired to their homes. In due course, his master passed away leaving no trace behind. The young Kikar found a new master, but not one quite as nice.
    The new smithy refused to teach Kikar anything of the sort, always saying that it would ruin the boyís mind. To these words he did abide so well that when Kikar insisted, Kikar was punished. The years under this master went long for Kikar, until Kikar became of age. He was sent to create his masterpiece and to become one of the masters, but deeply rejected it.
    Kikar became solemn and did not talk much. Then, something happened, no one knew what, but Kikar had begun disappearing after dusk and returning each dawn. The guess was that he was going to train, but under whom was the question. So, each dawn Kikar returned to the town worn out and panting. One dawn at the age of 16 he did not come back. No one knew what had become of him. The afternoon revealed the secret.
    The tournament was being held that afternoon, and who showed up? None other than Kikar. Kikar was in the arena, his opponent, a dark shadowy figure, posed waiting. It became clear at the moment of attack that Kikar had been training, for it was done skillfully. Each parry, block, and thrust showed Kikarís ability. Nevertheless, it seemed as if Kikar was outmatched; for each blow he dealt two were dealt back. Suddenly, a violent force of shroud gathered into the cloaked manís hands and stood before Kikar. Kikar had been defeated.
    It has been said, ever since that fateful tournament Kikar has never lost, but that shadow never reappeared. In fact, the shadow was beyond all, but that is not a part of this story.
    Kikar began to train more, but this time his training was obvious. The whole town saw him training at the arena each day after the matches. To the townspeople it had become clear that Kikar had taught himself. He experimented each day with different techniques and moves. His ability grew as he combined forces and gained strength. At each tournament he proved his worth. He beat anybody he faced in a couple of blows. Soon he was able to dodge magics, arrows, and axes. For his ability he was sent away from the arena, but would have left anyways.
    His appearance in the town had become scarcer and scarcer. By his 21 birthday, Kikar disappeared from the town forever. He went on to fight evils and seek treasures. With each quest he fulfilled he gained wealth and pride. His deeds are legendary. He save a town from a titan, rescued a maiden from a roc, defeated a wizard of imaginable power, and so on his deeds went.
    After his defeat of the wizard, his pride became so great that he felt he had such a great will to hold one of the wizards possessions. As his greed and pride worked on him, the wizardís orb (for that was the object) slowly killed him, only to be mastered by one, but that is another story.
    This was the rise and fall of Kikar as is known to us. The details of his deeds are unclear and was hard language to interpret, but this is an extract of his fight with the Titan.
    Kikar raised his sword and struck at the Titanís foot while dodging itís sweeping hand. Kikar spun the blades together and took another swing at the leg. In an instant Kikar was levitated off the ground by the Titanís psychokinetic abilities. Kikar was able to throw his dagger at the Titanís eye, breaking its concentration. Kikar fell 2 feet down before grabbing hold of the Titanís hand. Kikar took his blade and slashed the hand open, falling and using it to cushion the fall. As he hit the ground, the Titan began to recover. Without losing a moment, Kikar lunged with both his swords at a foot and chopped it off, causing the Titan to topple. The Titan, flatfooted from the fall was stabbed in the head and killed before it could do anything.
    No more of this excerpt could be translated. Perhaps in another edition I will have his full adventures translated. Luckily, I have another few hundred to share with you, like the one about the King of Darkness.

  2. #2
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Default Re: Stories in creation

    I'm in a rush out of my house now, so I'll read it later, but I'd change this:
    He did not care for one other,
    He did not care about other people


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