not a teacher
Dear Ms xxxx
Request for Concession on Children's School Fees
i have been teaching at Lahore Grammar School since 1st December 2009. I have enrolled my two children in this school, knowing that they will be getting a good education here.
I was wondering whether, as a teaching staff of the school, I am entitled to any staff discount on children's school fees. So I would like to make the humble request here as it would help ease the financial burden on me to support my two children.
I would be most grateful if you would kindly consider my request.
Thank you.
Yours sincerely,
Syed
Some of the phrases that you used like 'respected madam', 'due veneration' sound don't sound natural to me. Then again, they may be accepted language/etiquette in your country.