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  1. #1
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    Default Pl. help me to correct the 1st 3 paragraphs of a citation

    Dear Tdol,

    Could you please help me to correct a citation for a recipient of a honorary doctorate and make it better? Tks a lot!
    Last edited by ricardosong; 04-May-2005 at 15:47.

  2. #2
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Default Re: Pl. help me to correct the 1st 3 paragraphs of a citation

    which earned him a worldwide reputation.- have earned
    at the early stage of his primary education.- an early stage/early on in his ...
    received from the Pu Middle School chosen by his parents- at Pu Middle School, chosen by his parents
    launched the foundations- laid
    At that time, he already began to display - By that time, he had already... ??
    to proceed his studies under Professor Gunning- to continue/further his studies
    Prof. X has committed himself to the researches in several complex variables - to research into several...
    witness this rising star to become a dominant figure- rising sta become (though isn't he already a major figure- a rising star hasn't made it yet)
    In 1996, he concluded his Doctor Degree from that tertiary institution, famous for the "Beautiful Mind".
    - I'd delete tertiary institution- no one else can give doctorates
    had got his highest academic degree- he had this highest academic degree
    the Yale University and the Standford University- delete 'the' with these two- the University of X, but X University
    have always been the "observed of the observers" - have always be noted by the notable ???
    academic circle.- circles
    such as Associate Editor of the- such as being the...

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Pl. help me to correct the 1st 2 paragraph of a citation

    Dear Tdol,

    Thank you so much for your reply, that is very useful. Regarding your "???", I sill would like to have your help on the following:

    1. At that time, he already began to display - By that time, he had already... ??


    What's is difference between At that time and By that time. I want to refer to the time he was at middle school.

    2.In 1996, he concluded his Doctor Degree from that tertiary institution, famous for the "Beautiful Mind".
    - I'd delete tertiary institution- no one else can give doctorates

    You are certainly right. But acctually I'm doing a translation and it seems that the original author likes to mention the "Beautiful Mind". Can you make it more natural?


    3. - delete 'the' with these two- the University of X, but X University Why?
    have always been the "observed of the observers" - have always be noted by the notable ???

    I want to say he's the centre of the attention and his achivements are notable. How can express this idea? Is the expression I used here is not suitable to the context?


    Best regards

    Ricardo

  4. #4
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Default Re: Pl. help me to correct the 1st 2 paragraph of a citation

    1- By the time suggests that the prgress had started earlier.
    2- Leav the Beautiful \Mind, maybe just say 'institution'.
    'tertiary' is unnecessary.
    3 Observers can be anybody, the notable are worthy of attention.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Pl. help me to correct the 1st 2 paragraph of a citation

    Thank you so much for your help!

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