Please help me in checking my text

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sanchyeta

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Hello friends, please help me in checking my text that I wrote as a sample article for a website, but was not been accepted. Here it goes... I just wanted to know what my mistake is in the following text. Thanks in advance.


Five Things to Remember When Writing for Children


Writing for children has always been a great passion for me, as this leads you to the world of imagination, fantasies, magic and happiness all around you. Story books for children always seem to be colorful with big and stylish writing fonts. Not even children, adults too are greatly attracted by the size and color as well as the cover page of such a book. But, first of all, before writing anything for children, you must keep in mind the five things that would help you write anything for them.

  • Walk in their shoes: For a moment, imagine yourself to be a child or what your childhood used to be. Imagine what every child feels and how he or she feels about the things around him or her. Children always correlate real things with some absurd or magical things. They usually fantasize things and like to live in the world of fantasies, magic, and fairylands. They also like humorous words that tickle their mind. They usually wonder some great heroic deeds that may occur in their real life too.
  • Story, theme, style: Make yourself more imaginative with full of vigor and vitality. Children like dialogues rather than narratives. Always remember that your matter should have a proper story with moral themes and a happy ending. Better maintain a short and lively paragraph in your content. Do not make long descriptions, as children feel bore after reading them. Give short and vivid descriptions so that they can remember them often.
  • Innovative and informative storyline: Come up with some innovative story that would broaden and boost a child’s tender mind. Your story should be such that would convey some information to a child. A child’s mind can easily pick up things and can remember them for long periods of time. So, fill up his mind with good and informative things.
  • Be their friend: Decide first which age group you would like to consider before writing. As we all know that children with different age group have different likings. For example, children with 2-4 age groups like nature, toys, and animals. Children with 5-10 age groups like fairytales, magic, and fantasies. Teenagers like adventures, romance, and mysteries.
  • Adhere to your purpose: What makes you think that you should write something for children. Make a point with what intention do you have before writing for them. Yes, the soul intention should be to entertain them to the fullest. Make your writing a super-hit and your readers will keep your writing at the topmost list when they think of reading something good.
It is not so easy to write anything for children. But yes, if you have already made up your mind to write for them, be a child first with a certain age group. Then, you start writing. All the best!
 

Raymott

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Hello friends, please help me in checking my text that I wrote as a sample article for a website, but was not been accepted. Here it goes... I just wanted to know what my mistake is in the following text. Thanks in advance.


Five Things to Remember When Writing for Children


Writing for children has always been a great passion for me, as this leads you to the world of imagination, fantasies, magic and happiness [STRIKE]all around you.[/STRIKE]
You shouldn't change from 'me' to 'you' like this. It can't be a passion for you simply because it leads someone else to a world of imagination .... I suggest you rephrase it.

Story books for children always seem to be colorful with big and stylish writing fonts. Not
[STRIKE]even[/STRIKE] only children, but adults too are greatly attracted by the size and color as well as the cover page of such books. But, first of all, before writing anything for children, you must keep in mind the five things that [STRIKE]would[/STRIKE] will help you write anything for them.

  • Walk in their shoes: For a moment, imagine yourself to be a child or what your childhood used to be.
Needs rephrasing. You can't be what your childhood was.
Imagine what every child feels and how [STRIKE]he or she[/STRIKE] they feel about the things around [STRIKE]him or her[/STRIKE] them.
'Him and her' is going to get tedious if it pops up too often. I try to manipulate the text so that I can use 'they' in this situation.

Children always correlate real things with some absurd or magical things. Do they 'always?' I'm not an expert on children, but 'always' and 'never' are two words I try to avoid unless I'm sure about something.
They
[STRIKE]usually fantasize things and[/STRIKE] like to live in the world of fantasies, magic, and fairylands.
You might be using "things" too often. Try to think of the word that you actually mean.

They also like humorous words that tickle their mind. They usually wonder about
[STRIKE]some [/STRIKE]great heroic deeds that may occur in their real life too.
  • Story, theme, style: Make yourself more imaginative, [STRIKE]with [/STRIKE]full of vigor and vitality. Children like dialogues [STRIKE]rather than[/STRIKE] as well as narratives. Children love narratives too.
Always remember that your subject matter should have a proper story with moral themes and a happy ending.
Hmm, contentious. Maybe you're right.

[STRIKE]Better [/STRIKE]Maintain short and lively paragraphs.[STRIKE] in your content.[/STRIKE] Do not make long descriptions, as children feel bored after reading them. Give short and vivid descriptions so that they can remember them often.
  • Innovative and informative storyline: Come up with some innovative story that would broaden and boost a child’s tender mind. Your story should be such that would convey some information to a child. Children's minds can easily pick up things and can remember them for long periods of time. So, fill up [STRIKE]his[/STRIKE] their minds with good and informative things. Can't you just entertain them?


  • Be their friend: Decide first which age group you would like to [STRIKE]consider before writing[/STRIKE] write for. As we all know, [STRIKE]that[/STRIKE] children from different age groups have different likings. For example, children of age 2-4 [STRIKE]age groups[/STRIKE] like nature, toys, and animals. Children aged 5-10 [STRIKE]age groups[/STRIKE] like fairytales, magic, and fantasies. Teenagers like adventures, romance, and mysteries.


  • Adhere [Stick] to your purpose: Why do you think you should write [STRIKE]something[/STRIKE] stories for children?
    "What makes you think you can ... " is not very polite.
    Make a point
    [STRIKE]with[/STRIKE] of what intention [STRIKE]do[/STRIKE] you have before writing for them. Yes, the [STRIKE]soul[/STRIKE] sole? intention should be to entertain them to the fullest.
    Maybe, but this contradicts your statement about informing them and teaching a moral.
    Make your writing a
    [STRIKE]super-hit[/STRIKE] [I'd think of something less sensational and more practical. Very few people can write super-hits. Give your readers a chance.] and your readers will keep your stories in mind when they think of reading something good.
It is not so easy to write anything for children. But yes, if you have already made up your mind to write for them, be a child first [STRIKE]with a certain age group.[/STRIKE] Then, you start writing! [STRIKE]All the best![/STRIKE]
I've made a lot of suggestions, so you might not agree with them all - that's OK. I can't guarantee that this will get you published though!


R.
 

sanchyeta

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Hi Raymott

How much I am grateful to you I don't know. Many thanks that you have taken pains to correct my text. I have learnt many things from your correction and suggestions. But still, I would like you to give me tips and tricks that I should follow while writing any article or essays. I have made up my mind to make my writng as my career. Please suggest me more on writng any articles that will be improvement on my part.

Thanks once again. :-D:-D:-D
 

Raymott

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Hi Raymott

How much I am grateful to you I don't know. Many thanks that you have taken pains to correct my text. I have learnt many things from your correction and suggestions. But still, I would like you to give me tips and tricks that I should follow while writing any article or essays. I have made up my mind to make my writng as my career. Please suggest me more on writng any articles that will be improvement on my part.

Thanks once again. :-D:-D:-D
You're welcome.
I think the best way to learn how to write well is to read well-written books.
You should also read some of the corrections of other essays by the teachers here. And, of course, you can post some more short essays, but I can't guarantee they'll all be corrected.
 

sanchyeta

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Joined
Apr 15, 2010
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You're welcome.
I think the best way to learn how to write well is to read well-written books.
You should also read some of the corrections of other essays by the teachers here. And, of course, you can post some more short essays, but I can't guarantee they'll all be corrected.

Thanks for the suggestions. I will try to learn more from the essays and comments of other members of this site. I think, I should tutor myself with English grammar and pay attention to the styles of other writers.

:)
 
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