[Essay] IELTS, letter, please comment on it. Thanks.

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rashidjon

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Joined
Apr 5, 2010
Member Type
Student or Learner
You will move to a new city for work. You know some people who live there.
*Ask them for help finding accomodation
*tell them where you would like to live
*Tell them the type of place you are looking for

Dear Sir,

I would like to inform you that I was recently promoted at my job and in near future I am planing to move to your city.

As you are the only person whom I know from that city and you have been living there for a long time I have decided to contact you. First of all, I need your advice and help in finding good accommodation for my family.

As you know there are three of us, me, my wife and our two year old son. One of the my colleagues who had used to live there strongly recommended to find flat not far from the city center. What you can recommend for us? As our child turned just two years old we prefer quiet place. Preferably place with park, playground or such kind of facilities at a close range.

Regarding the type of the accomodation I think that for the first time flat with two bed rooms would be perfect for us. It does not matter if the flat is on a old or ultra modern high store building. We only require that flat should be furnished and with phone or Internet connection.

I would appreciate it If you can help us to fund good shelter for us. If you have any other idea or advice, please feel free and i would be happy to hear from you.

Thank you very much.

With best regards, James John.
 

tedtmc

Key Member
Joined
Jun 12, 2006
Member Type
Interested in Language
Native Language
Chinese
Home Country
Malaysia
Current Location
Malaysia
A few suggestions:

Regarding the type of the accomodation[STRIKE]s[/STRIKE], I think [STRIKE]that for the first time[/STRIKE] a flat with two bedrooms would be perfect for us. It does not matter if the flat is [STRIKE]on[/STRIKE] in an old or ultra modern highrise [STRIKE]store[/STRIKE] building. We only require that the flat[STRIKE] should[/STRIKE] be furnished and with phone or internet connection.

I would appreciate it if you [STRIKE]can[/STRIKE]would help us to find a good shelter [STRIKE]for us[/STRIKE]. If you have any other ideas or advice, please feel free to tell [STRIKE]them to[/STRIKE] me and I would be happy to hear from you.

not a teacher
 
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