IELT Essay review needed

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crazy3

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Essay Title: pros and cons of being a celebrity and support one side.

Entertainment industry has been growing enormously since the past decade. It has been provided this platform to lots of common man ,so that they can take it up as their career and become a star or a celebrity with their talent. This gradually becomes their profession and along with it comes the pros and cons of it. This essay will look at some of the advantages and disadvantages of being a celebrity.

One of the main disadvantage of being a celebrity is they do not have the privilege to have a private life. Everytime , every moment people wants to know what are the happenings in their life. As a result, they do not usually have the freedom to enjoy a normal life like going out ,meetings friends and many more. They are being watched constantly all the time. Secondly, their occupation involves lots of hard work. It is sometimes believed that they need to be emotionally strong , to avoid influence from the reel life character that they play . Lastly, they are looked upon by people as role models, so they have to be cautious enough to deliver right message.

The advantage of being a celebrity is to gain fame and recognition. For a moviestar, whenever a movie is a big hit, they become successful and are known for their talent. They have a huge crowd of fans who admire and like them a lot. Along with the recognition comes the money. The more the movie is successful the more rich they get. Although they have to sacrifice many things in their life to reach this stage, but when they are recognised and loved by many people, they feel gratified. The rewards motivates them to perform better.

Despite the fact that more money can lead people towards negative attitude for life, it is important to accept that there are pros and cons in any professsion. My personal opinion is the advantages overweighs the disadvantages. The celebrites have the power to change people's perception, to make a difference ,to be heard out.
 

tedtmc

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Essay Title: pros and cons of being a celebrity and supporting one side (??).

The entertainment industry has been growing enormously since the past decade. It has been provided this platform to lots of common man (?? It has provided the opportunities for people to...,[STRIKE]so that they can[/STRIKE] take it up as their career and become a star or a celebrity with their talent. This gradually becomes their profession and along with it comes the pros and cons [STRIKE]of it[/STRIKE]. This essay will look at some of the advantages and disadvantages of being a celebrity.

One of the main disadvantages of being a celebrity is that they do not have the privilege to have a private life. they have to sacrifice their private lives. Everytime , every moment people want[STRIKE]s [/STRIKE]to know [STRIKE]what are[/STRIKE] the happenings in [STRIKE]their[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]life[/STRIKE] the celebrities' lives. As a result, they do not usually have the freedom to enjoy a normal life like going out ,meeting[STRIKE]s[/STRIKE] friends and many more. They are being watched [STRIKE]constantly[/STRIKE] all the time. Secondly, their occupation involves lots of hard work. It is [STRIKE]sometimes[/STRIKE] believed that they need to be emotionally strong , to avoid influence from the real life characters that they play . Lastly, they are looked upon by people as role models, so they have to be cautious [STRIKE]enough[/STRIKE] to deliver portray the right message.

The advantage of being a celebrity is being able to gain fame and recognition. For a moviestar, whenever a movie [STRIKE]is[/STRIKE] becomes a big hit, they become successful and are known for their talents. They have a huge crowd of fans who would admire and like them a lot. Along with the recognition comes the money. The [STRIKE]more the movie is successful[/STRIKE] more successful the movie is, the [STRIKE]more rich [/STRIKE] richer they get. Although they have to sacrifice many things in their life to reach this stage, but when they are recognised and loved by many people, they feel gratified. The rewards motivate[STRIKE]s[/STRIKE] them to perform better.

Despite the fact that more money can lead people towards negative attitude [STRIKE]for[/STRIKE] to life, it is important to accept that there are pros and cons in any professsion. My personal opinion is that the advantages overweigh[STRIKE]s[/STRIKE] the disadvantages. The celebrites have the power to change people's perception, to make a difference ,to be heard out.
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crazy3

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Thanks a lot for the correction. I just realized that there are so many grammatical mistakes :( Will practice more and send some more for review. Please let me know if I improve. Thanks a lot again :)
 
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