[Essay] Please, check my essay. I am going to take toefl ibt exam in 6 days. Thanks!

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Black_Scorpion

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“Advances in transportation and communication like the airplane and telephone have changed the way interact with each other in a global society. Choose another technological innovation that you think is important. Give specific reasons for your choice.”

Since we are living in Informational century, there a lot of technological innovations were invented in order to make easier global connections. One of the most vital innovations is internet which was invented in twentieth century and developed in current century. It is very bizarre and incredible innovation because of its several beneficial and advantageous sides.
First and foremost, internet is an important tool to make connections with all sides of the Earth. There are a lot of facilities to help us to make links to each other. One of them is email which makes opportunity for us to send and receive letters from our friends or colleagues in a few times. For instance, some one works in a big and prestigious company and he/she needs to send important information, such as meeting time, to his/her colleague. In this case email opportunity is very useful for everybody.
In addition, everybody can utilize internet to earn money in order to create a new web site. By increasing the visitor to his/her web site creator can take percentage from the internet. On the other hand, there are a lot of trading web sites available to earn money. All bank systems are working with internet to send and receive money from other banks. Internet makes their works easier and decrease the delivery times of sending and receiving money.
Finally, we can get hot news from internet about everything, such as daily news, political, sport news, when we want and where we want. Since it was invented wireless connection opportunities we are able to use internet everywhere. And moreover it makes us available to get information about everything every time.
In conclusion, I would like to sum up and summarize again that internet is one of the most important innovations which makes our lives easy because of its several facilities. Email, earning money and getting news are very vital opportunities for everybody to make their life easier.
 
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tedtmc

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“Advances (advancement?) in transportation and communication like the airplane and telephone have changed the way people interact with each other in a global society. Choose another technological innovation that you think is important. Give specific reasons for your choice.”

Since we are living in Informational century information age, [STRIKE]there[/STRIKE] a lot of technological innovations [STRIKE]were[/STRIKE] have been invented in order to make [STRIKE]easier[/STRIKE] global connections easier. One of the most vital innovations is the internet which was invented in twentieth century and developed in current century. It is very bizarre (bizarre has negative connotations. use xtraordinary/remarkable/marvellous/phenomenal) and incredible innovation because of its several beneficial benefits and advantageous sides advantages

First and foremost, the internet is an important tool to make connections with all sides of the Earth. There are a lot of facilities to help us [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] make links [STRIKE]to [/STRIKE] with each other. One of them is the e-mail, which [STRIKE]makes[/STRIKE] provides the opportunity for us to send and receive letters from our friends or colleagues [STRIKE]in a few times[/STRIKE] instantly. For instance, someone works in a big and prestigious company and he[STRIKE]/she[/STRIKE] (you can use 'he' to represent 'general') needs to send important information, such as meeting time, to his/[STRIKE]her[/STRIKE] colleague. In this case, the e-mail [STRIKE]opportunity[/STRIKE] is very useful for everybody. In addition, everybody can utilize the internet to earn money in order to create a new web site.( I thought it is the other way round - you create the website to earn money) By increasing the visitor(number of visits) to his[STRIKE]/her [/STRIKE]web site, the creator can take percentage(get a commission) from the internet. On the other hand, there are a lot of trading web sites [STRIKE]available[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] which enable the creators to earn money. All bank systems [STRIKE]are working with[/STRIKE] make use of the internet to [STRIKE]send and receive money from other banks[/STRIKE] transfer money between banks. The internet makes their work[STRIKE]s[/STRIKE] easier and [STRIKE]decrease the delivery times of sending and receiving money[/STRIKE] and so much faster.
Finally, we can get hot the latest news from the internet on about everything, such as daily news, political, sport news - whenever we want and whereever we want. Since it was invented wireless transmission was invented [STRIKE]connection opportunities[/STRIKE] we have been able to use internet practically everywhere. And moreover it [STRIKE]makes us available[/STRIKE] enables us to have access to [STRIKE]get[/STRIKE] information about everything [STRIKE]every [/STRIKE] at any time.[/FONT][/SIZE]

In conclusion, I would like to sum up [STRIKE]and summarize again[/STRIKE] that the internet is one of the greatest and most important innovations which makes our live[STRIKE]s[/STRIKE][STRIKE] easy[/STRIKE] easier because of its several facilities various applications which benefit and impact all aspects of our life. Some of the applications such as the e-mail, earning money being a source of income and getting news instant news transmission are very vital opportunities for everybody to make their life easier makes a great difference to improving our lives.

Note: Internet comes with the article 'the'.
 
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