Results 1 to 3 of 3
  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    10
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default I need someone to proofread my cover letter :)

    Here it is and do not hesitate to give me your opinion Re the content etc..
    Thanks in advance for your time ! :)



    Dear Sir, madam

    The position of assistant for politics and programs that your organisation is offering is expressly what I am looking for. Besides, I am very enthusiastic about Brazil and I am concentrating my job researches essentially toward that country.

    Cleary, my strongest asset for this position is my excellent control of the two languages required (French and English). Although I have various working experiences within the NGO sector. Notably I have been working for a South African NGO as a project manager assistant. During this experience I assumed a variety of duties, but the most appealing one were those related to research and analysis.

    Consequently, I decided to specialise myself toward this field. I completed my education by a Master degree in political science within the most selective French university in this field named “la Sorbonne” (5% of successful candidates out of 986). During those studies I worked hard to gain a solid political and social analytical background. I produced a variety of documents (weekly press notes, monthly reports with political and economical focus). In the mean time I worked for two French NGOs as a researcher to assess my abilities in this field and both experiences proven to be successful.
    This diploma, together with those professional experiences, demonstrates my strong motivation to pursue my work in this area. Also, they guaranty high-quality analytical abilities as well as research and writing skills.

    However, I do not have a professional background in fundraising as required in the job description. I did create a project of a “mobile cinema” for underprivileged people for which I raised funds and solicited donations, but this was a personal initiative. Nevertheless, I am interested in developing my abilities in this area.

    My various experiences abroad (studies, expatriations, travels) show an open and curious personality with adaptive competencies. Also people I have been working with describe me as a good team player and someone that is confident in relating to other in a positive manner.

    I know that if you give me the opportunity I could be an resourceful person within ActionAid Brazil as your offer match exactly what I am looking for and thus make me enthusiastic

  2. #2
    billmcd is offline Key Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    3,505
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: I need someone to proofread my cover letter :)

    Some suggested revisions:
    Dear Sir, Madam:

    The position of Assistant for Politics and Programs that your organisation is offering is precisely what I am looking for. In addition, I am very enthusiastic about
    Brazil and I am concentrating my job searches primarily toward that country.

    Cleary(Note: "clearly" to you maybe but not yet to any prospective employer), I believe my strongest asset for this position is my excellent control understanding and use of the two languages required (French and English). Although I have various working experiences experience within the NGO sector. Notably, I have been working for a South African NGO as an assistant project manager . During this experience time I assumed a variety of duties, but the most appealing ones were those related to research and analysis.

    Consequently, I decided to specialise in myself toward this field. I completed my education by with obtaining a Masters Degree in Political Science within at the most selective exclusive French University in this field, named “la Sorbonne” (5% of successful candidates out of 986). During those studies I worked hard to gain a solid political and social analytical background. I produced a variety of documents (weekly press notes, monthly reports with political and economical focus). In the mean time, I worked for two French NGOs as a researcher to assess my abilities in this field, and both experiences proved to be successful.
    This My diploma, together with those professional experiences, I think, demonstrates my strong motivation to pursue a career work in this area. Also, I believe also that they guarantee high-quality analytical abilities as well as research and writing skills.

    However, I do not have a professional background in fundraising as required mentioned in the job description. I did create a project of a “mobile cinema” for underprivileged people for which I raised funds and solicited donations, but this was a personal initiative. Nevertheless, I am interested in developing my abilities in this area.

    My various experience abroad (studies, expatriations, travels) show an open and curious personality with adaptive competencies. Also, people I have been working with describe me as a good team player and someone that is confident in relating to others in a positive manner.

    I know that if you give me the opportunity, I could be an resourceful and productive person asset within ActionAid
    Brazil. As your offer match exactly what I am looking for and thus make me enthusiastic The position description matches exactly what I am looking for and I am anxious to hear from you about the possibility of being a productive member of your organization.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    10
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: I need someone to proofread my cover letter :)

    Thanks very much for your time !
    I took note of all you remarks :)

Similar Threads

  1. Could you please review my cover letter?
    By ss1981 in forum CVs, Resumes and Applications
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 25-Nov-2007, 15:44
  2. proofread my cover letter, please, please, please
    By magdalena in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 15-Sep-2007, 01:17
  3. please help me with my cover letter and resume
    By xinshock in forum CVs, Resumes and Applications
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 18-Oct-2004, 18:43
  4. how to write a cover letter?
    By Anonymous in forum CVs, Resumes and Applications
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 16-Oct-2004, 11:56
  5. a cover letter
    By wpqin in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 06-Mar-2003, 16:39

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Hotchalk