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    #1

    Fix these three sentences

    My country is Somalia and I cry whenever I see my broken country and fighting brothers each other.

    1) My biggest dream is to see “The big Somali” not these weak regions which cannot defend its self if it’s been attacked by any enemy.
    2) I hope to see these regions going to gather to solve their disagreement on speech by their selves.
    3) Somali pirates aren’t terriers not burglars they’re our brothers who protecting and defending our sea after its wealth has stolen and thrown chemicals by foreign countries.
    Last edited by Atchan; 01-Jun-2010 at 23:31.

  1. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Fix these three sentences

    Quote Originally Posted by atchan View Post
    My country is Somalia and I cry whenever I see my broken country and fighting brothers.

    1) My biggest dream is to see “The big Somalia, not these weak regions which cannot defend its self themselves if it’s been when attacked by any enemy.

    2) I hope to see these regions going to gathering together to solve their disagreement disputes on speech by their selves. by talking to each other.

    3) Somali pirates aren’t terriers (terrorists?) not nor are they burglars (? robbers/thieves ?) They’re our brothers who protecting and defending our sea after its wealth has been stolen and thrown chemicals have been thrown into it by foreign countries.
    See above. Corrections are in red. Queries, and possible answers, are in blue.

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    #3

    Re: Fix these three sentences

    Thank you for you help

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    #4

    Re: Fix these three sentences

    I'm not sure about 3). If wealth has already been stolen and chemicals thrown into the sea then what are you defending the sea against? I think I'd rephrase this, since aren't you defending against future theft and pollution and not the past? Also, I'd say 'spewn' instead of 'thrown out' because it's more emotive and also I don't think you 'throw chemicals out' - it sounds like you're thowing them overboard as jetsam! Altenatively 'discharged' (less emotive than 'spewn', more correct that 'thrown out') or 'leaked' (suggests less of an intention to pollute).

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    #5

    Re: Fix these three sentences

    Quote Originally Posted by bertietheblue View Post
    I'm not sure about 3). If wealth has already been stolen and chemicals thrown into the sea then what are you defending the sea against? I think I'd rephrase this, since aren't you defending against future theft and pollution and not the past? Also, I'd say 'spewn' instead of 'thrown out' because it's more emotive and also I don't think you 'throw chemicals out' - it sounds like you're thowing them overboard as jetsam! Altenatively 'discharged' (less emotive than 'spewn', more correct that 'thrown out') or 'leaked' (suggests less of an intention to pollute).
    I'm defending the sea from foreign enemies who stolen and roiled it in the past years.
    secondly, I appreciate your advises but which is the best. spewn or discharged
    Last edited by Atchan; 30-May-2010 at 03:27.

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    #6

    Re: Fix these three sentences

    Quote Originally Posted by atchan View Post
    My country is Somalia and I cry whenever I see my broken country and fighting brothers.


    3) Somali pirates aren’t terriers not burglars they’re our brothers who protecting and defending our sea after its wealth has stolen and thrown chemicals by foreign countries.
    How about:

    "The Somali pirates aren't terrorists, nor are they thieves. They are our brothers who protect our sea from foreign countries that plunder it for its wealth and pollute all life within."

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    #7

    Re: Fix these three sentences

    Quote Originally Posted by bertietheblue View Post
    How about:

    "The Somali pirates aren't terrorists, nor are they thieves. They are our brothers who protect our sea from foreign countries that plunder it for its wealth and pollute all life within."
    Really, you are a fantastic and smart teacher. you may know that I speak three language which are (somali "Original", Arabic "because this country that I live in" and English "my favorite"). But English language is very hard to me. so, you must know my difficulties against English and appreciate it.

    Thank you
    Last edited by Atchan; 30-May-2010 at 15:44.

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