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    #1

    editing of short passage

    Accidents can happen to anybody. They can occur when we are driving a vehicle, riding a bicycle or a motorcycle and even when we are crossing the road. Road accidents are mainly due to carelessness or recklessness.

    Tailgating is one of the causes of accidents. Many drivers like to follow the vehicles in front of theirs although they know that it can lead to an accident involving several vehicles if the vehicle in front brakes suddenly. This will not allow the drivers in the vehicles behind to brake in time to avoid a collision.

    Some people drive even after they have drunk. Under the influence of alcohol, he loses his sense of judgement and is unable to control his car properly, thus making him prone to an accident. If a person has drunk, he should take a taxi or hitch a ride from somebody.

    When a driver is reckless or impatient, he is likely to meet with an accident. Many drivers like to overtake others. This can lead to an accident if they speed recklessly in doing so.

    Beating the red light can cause a collision. The number of accidents can be reduced if drivers and motorcyclists slow down and stop at traffic lights.

    Accidents often happen on rainy days when a vehicle skips when it brakes suddenly as the roads are wet. Drivers should change the tyres of their vehicles they are bald as bald tyres do not have a firm grip of the roads. Hence, the chances of a vehicle skidding in an emergency are much higher. A serious accident can happen if a vehicle skids on an expressway when it is raining. This is because the vehicles nearby will have to brake suddenly and, in doing so, will skid and collide with one another.

    Motorcyclists are prone to accidents as they are travelling on two wheels. A motorcyclist should not speed as it is easy to lose control of his vehicle if, while speeding, he has to break suddenly. He will be thrown off his vehicle if it moves on an uneven road or over an oil patch. A motorcyclist should not ride quickly even if he has right of way. He should be cautious of vehicles turning, filtering or swerving into his lane. He should always slow down in such situations.

    When cornering, a motorcyclist should not turn at a very acute angle as he may fall off his vehicle it moves on some sand, spilled oil or some objects left on the road. He will be injured and suffer fatal injuries if he was speeding.

    Pedestrians can also be involved in accidents. Many children like to play while crossing the road. By doing so, they may walk into the path of a moving vehicle and be killed instantly. Adults should hold the hands of their children when they are crossing the road with them. They should not allow the children to cross the road by themselves.

    Accidents often happen when pedestrians, instead of using pedestrian crossings and overhead bridges, dash across the road. Pedestrians, especially children and the elderly, should always make use of a pedestrian crossing or overhead bridge.

    When using the road, regardless of whether we are motorists, motorcyclists, cyclists or pedestrians, we must be very careful as a single mistake can prove fatal. We have only one life and should cherish it.

    Could somebody edit the passage for me? Thanks in advance.
    Last edited by Tan Elaine; 09-Jun-2010 at 21:15.

  1. Jay Louise's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: editing of short passage

    *I am not a teacher. This is only my personal opinion.*

    Nicely written

    Some people drive even after they have drunk.

    Suggestions- have drunk alcohol, have been drinking (alcohol), are drunk.

    If a person has drunk

    Suggestions- has been drinking, is drunk.

    Accidents often happen on rainy days when a vehicle skips

    Did you mean to use "skid" here? Skid is used quite often in this paragraph, you might want to edit it a bit. Perhaps change the last phrase from "will skid and collide with one another" to simply "will collide with one another".

    Drivers should change the tyres of their vehicles [when] they are bald as bald tyres do not have a firm grip of the roads.

    Suggestions- a firm grip ON the roads or do not firmly grip the road. I'm not certain that "of" would be considered wrong though.

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    #3

    Re: editing of short passage

    Thanks, Jay Louise, for your analytical comments and suggestions.

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