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    #1

    Thesis statement

    I'm doing a project on Economic disparity, development, and why there is so much poverty.

    This is my thesis statement:

    "Economic disparity and development is the driving force behind all poverty, along with the dangerously augmenting world population, as it draws its roots from economic, climatic, and naturalistic means within a dangerous poverty cycle."

    can you tell me if it is grammatically correct? Thanks.

  1. Leandro-Z's Avatar
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    #2

    Cool Re: Thesis statement

    It is a great writing. I love the way you explain all that. Everthing in connection to Grammar is okay.

    See you man...

  2. Raymott's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: Thesis statement

    Quote Originally Posted by Jason7377 View Post
    I'm doing a project on Economic disparity, development, and why there is so much poverty.

    This is my thesis statement:

    "Economic disparity and development are the driving forces behind all poverty, along with the dangerously augmenting [?] world population, as it draws its roots from economic, climatic, and naturalistic means within a dangerous poverty cycle."

    can you tell me if it is grammatically correct? Thanks.
    The grammar is good. The semantics are far from clear.
    Are you saying that economic disparity, development and the increasing world population are the three driving forces behind all poverty?
    What does it mean to say that A and B are the cause of all poverty, along with C? Does this imply that A and B are not the cause of all poverty, since C is also a cause?

    "Augment" isn't usually used intransitively like this. A augments B. Do you mean 'increasing'?
    What draws its roots from economic climatic, and naturalistic means? What does it mean for something to draw its roots from something?
    What is within a dangerous poverty cycle?

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    #4

    Re: Thesis statement

    Thank you for your input; you were right on. It was very ambiguous. I changed it to something that was simple and to the point.

  3. Raymott's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: Thesis statement

    Quote Originally Posted by Jason7377 View Post
    I changed it to something that was simple and to the point.
    That's never a bad policy!

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