Results 1 to 2 of 2

Thread: specific text

  1. #1
    Azucar is offline Newbie
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    7
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default specific text

    Hello teachers,

    could you please tell me if the text is understandable? This article relates to the festival, and everything that is written in it is like a joke. It is specific because the author calls people abnormal (as a joke).


    After 17 years of intrusion of ideas upon people that Kazantip is a wonderful non-existent country, where Batmen, Peter Pens, airplanes hover over happy naked and dancing people, at last the time came for everyone to admit that this is a diagnosis.
    Collective hallucinations, obsession with impossible ideas, delusion of grandeur, expressed in that the group of people consider themselves the GREAT NATION, are only symptoms of widely spread mental disease. So let’s ascertain what that is and who these people the GREAT NATION are!!!!
    So from this year “Republic Kazantip” receives a status of experimental psychiatric sanatorium n.a. N. Frantsevich. In the atmosphere of a seaside resort from July, 31 till August, 21 people with different delusions and antisocial behavior can undergo a course of intensive treatment, which provides work therapy, art therapy, music therapy, film therapy, sex therapy, smile therapy, falling into a trance, lobotomy, and other pleasant and progressive procedures.

    In sanatorium there will be admitted also usual vacationers whose normal health will be mixed with mass pathology and ideally must fasten a recovery of patients diseased by ‘kazantipophreny’

    Let us look at this from another side. Is this disease so dangerous or do we deal with some double sense or even idea that was originated in people’s heads and received a status of obsessive one?

    Every year at the end of July we drop everything, go on vacation, leave our jobs, send everything to hell and go to a place, where we look at magic sunrises or glorious sunsets, to the place of light and music, where dreams come true, where smiles are given for no reason, where moments of love, warmth and freedom make us happy and where the sky, the sun and the sea again and again tell us – hello, the GREAT NATION!!!!!))))))

    As the date of Kazantip opening approaches, usual people from depressed provincial cities find at local stores or second-hand stores colorful Hawaiian shirts, various marvelous panamas, paint hair in bright red, green, white etc.; managers of manufacturing companies take off ties, buy funny clothes in stupid boutiques for teenagers, and go to Kazantip in order to rent a bed in a village house with conditions outside for some weeks and forget about barrels, rate exchange, and traffic jams.

    These people are called the GREAT NATION and really, having passed Kazantip “customs”, once inside Z territory, at last they are in love of brotherhood, joy and triumphant hedonism.

    There must be a separate topic about costumes what the Great Nation wears. Here you can see girls with crazy hairstyles, in dresses with holes, or in too lightweight or bright costumes and boys in variegated garments. Moreover there are many lookalikes of famous movie characters as Jack Sparrow, Darth Vader, The Joker, Lilu Dallas etc.
    Many people wear costumes of orange, yellow and black colours – the most favorite colours at Kazantip. At closing party you can see many girls in foil costumes whose purpose is to resemble an alien)))
    So the more shocking you are the more you express yourself.
    In connection with transformation to the closed experimental psychiatric resort, Kazantip Republic declares about changes in viza regime. From 2010 a new type of viza is imposed – KURORTNAYA (from the Russian word which means “resort”). Every vacationer who visits Republic can obtain it. Traditionally the most complex patients receive vizas The GREAT NATION. Viza Department of Republic Kazantip (diagnostic department of the resort) plans to conduct mass diagnostic testing and to separate maniacs from normal vacationers. The procedure of detecting the Delusion of Grandeur is absolutely for FREE. All maniac individualities receive special yellow cards “Great Nation” for vacationers to know who is who. The results of experimental treatment can be known only at the end of August. For the most complex patients an extended 1 week and absolutely secret course of therapy is provided from August 21 till August 28 on the territory of the former Martian settlement.
    For health vacationers and discharged patients there is no danger of that.XDD.
    So what is a disease of the GREAT NATION that forces them just for once in a year to drop everything, to defy rules and beliefs in order to feel happy?

    Maybe everyone should search the useful profit even in his vacation and loll on the beach all day long and at night create a crowd scene on Kazantip dancefloors…

    Anyhow that’s your right to decide how to live in this world – to be a unique individuality that is able to be useful, give joy to people and get joy or to ignore everything and waste sunny days on the beach till something happens to make you think…

    Thank you in advance for your comments...
    Last edited by Azucar; 15-Jun-2010 at 14:30.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    70
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: specific text

    My company offers an editing service.

    There are several issues with your paper:

    1. Some parts are not comprehensible
    2. Run-on sentences
    3. Difficult to read

    The good things, however, are:

    1. I can sense your sarcasm and humor in the narrative.
    2. You're very opinionated and perceptive of your surroundings
    3. I would like for you to revise this article so we may all enjoy it.

    Overall, your article needs heavy revision, but you've done a great job so far!
    Last edited by Red5; 23-Jun-2010 at 18:23. Reason: Advertising link removed

Similar Threads

  1. highly specific
    By sky753 in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 24-Sep-2008, 13:25
  2. Specific Term
    By Mister Nutty in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 05-Jun-2008, 21:54
  3. Need a very specific word
    By Drendal in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 03-Apr-2008, 01:21
  4. Specific term?
    By Stromgol in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 23-Feb-2008, 21:59

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •