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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2005
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    Thumbs up Please help me edit my grammar problem

    Hello,
    Please help me edit my grammar problem
    Thank you,
    Plai-or Aroonrat
    www.top10googlerank.com
    ----------------Article --------------------------------------
    Title : If you are thinking about Abortion your child or leave he or she as an Orphan please read this real story, it might give you some thought.

    I donít know I should be born or not, but my parent divorced since I was only 3 months old in my motherís body. My two aunts took care of me till 5 years old in the country, then move to new home with my mother and new family. I used difference surname at first and it caused me so many problem that I did not belong to the family, after I asked my mother often about my friend did not believe me that I was in the same house of my sisters, and be an older sister of my three younger sisters, then my family decided to change my surname as same as my sisters.

    I had mental health sickness, canít go to school like normal kid everyday, only one day a week or two week when I was about 4-5 grade, also run away from home at that time, and have to go to hospital often from my sickness. Doctor told me that I donít have anything wrong with my physical, finally I came home with one diary that doctor gave me, and told me wrote every thing about my feeling every day, and I did, but I still had problem when I was teenager, I was trying to kill myself till have 4 scars on my wrist till now, and ate too many tablets of medicine because of my depression. I might had some problems, but I did not use any drug, alcohol, or went with the boy, but my father always taught me about meditate, and I follow his teaching till finally my sickness gone and can use a normal life like others.

    I was always selected to learn Mathematic and Science area since primary school till secondary school. I donít have a total good grade, my GPA just only around 2.00, but I had a good grade on my favorite subject like Biology. I also had a lot of activities at school such as sheer leader, public speaker, athletic, and many kinds of activities, but I still can entrance to the government university, faculty of science and select Mathematic as a major, and learned computer science and business management as a minor. After graduated I worked at the same university as a policy and plan analyst for 12 years.

    I still donít know I should be born or not, because my life seems to be pretty and beautiful at the end of this story, but I found nothing in my life, why? I donít know, I am still seeking. But if you are thinking about abortion your child directly that will brake the law or indirectly by using drug and alcohol, so please give he or she a chance to decision their own life by themselves. We donít know he/she might be a Doctor, a lawyer, a teacher, a scientist, a great musician or a great artist for our world.

    I am trying to make my life useful for others in order to fine the meaning and purpose for my life by sharing my own experience that might useful for you. I think you wonít go wrong to know more about me from my other articles about anything that will give you some knowledge at my web site : www.top10googlerank.com

  2. #2
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • British English
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      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • Philippines
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    Default Re: Please help me edit my grammar problem

    If you are thinking about Aborting your (unborn) child or leaving him or her as an Orphan please read this real story, it might give you pause for thought.

    I'm going to read the text now, but I would change the title to this. I'm also not sure about 'orphan'- would parentless/motherless work better?

  3. #3
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • Philippines
    Join Date
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    41,699
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: Please help me edit my grammar problem

    I donít know whether I should have been born or not, but my parent divorced when I was only 3 months in my motherís body. My two aunts took care of me till I was 5 years old in the country, then I moved to a new home with my mother and new family. I used a difference surname at first and it caused me so many problems because I did not belong to the family; I asked my mother often as my friends did not believe me that I was in the same house as my sisters, and an older sister to my three younger sisters, then my family decided to change my surname to the same one as my sisters.

    I had mental health problems and couldn't go to school like normal kids everyday; only one day a week, or every two weeks when I was about 4-5 grade. I also ran away from home at that time, and had to go to hospital often because of my sickness. The doctor told me that I didnít have anything wrong with me physically. Finally I came home with one diary that the doctor gave me; they told me to write everything about my feelings every day, and I did, but I still had problem when I was a teenager; I tried to kill myself, and have 4 scars on my wrist till now. I took too many tablets because of my depression. I might have had some problems, but I did not use any drugs, alcohol, nor went with a boy, but my father always taught me about meditation, and I followed his teaching till finally my sickness went and I could follow a normal life like others.

    I was always selected to learn Mathematic and Science area from primary school to secondary school. I donít have a good total grade; my GPA is only around 2.00, but I had a good grade on my favorite subjects like Biology. I also did a lot of activities at school such as sheer leader, public speaker, athletics, and many kinds of activities, but I was still able to enter the state university, faculty of science, and selected Mathematic as a major, and learned computer science and business management as a minor. After graduated I worked at the same university as a policy and plan analyst for 12 years.

    I still donít know whether I should have been born or not, because my life seems to be pretty and beautiful at the end of this story, but I found nothing in my life. Why? I donít know, I am still seeking. But if you are thinking about aborting your child directly, which will break the law or indirectly by using drug and alcohol, please give him or her a chance to decide their own life by themselves. We donít know whether he/she might be a doctor, a lawyer, a teacher, a scientist, a great musician or a great artist for our world.

    I am trying to make my life useful for others in order to find a meaning and purpose for my life by sharing my own experience that might useful for you. I think you wonít go wrong to knowing about me from my other articles about anything that will give you some knowledge at my web site : www.top10googlerank.com

    I have made the changes that I felt necessary, though others will be able to improve it more. Good luck with your site.

  4. #4
    Join Date
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    Default Re: Please help me edit my grammar problem

    Thank you tdol. :)

    Plai-or.

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