[General] Precious suggestion

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Patrizia Ilaria

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Jun 24, 2010
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Can you please help me to find an alternative sentence for "we would appreciate" in the letter below? I would like to avoid the repetition of "appreciate" Because it appears twice...I thank you very much for your help!!!

"I kindly inform you that we are currently updating our data system and we would appreciate if you could send us your company’s most updated list of employees completed with their contact details.

I thank you in advance for your attention and greatly appreciated cooperation.

With my kindest regards,"
 
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tedtmc

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Jun 12, 2006
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[STRIKE]I kindly inform you that[/STRIKE] We are currently updating our data system and we would appreciate it if you could send us your company’s [STRIKE] most[/STRIKE] updated list of employees complete[STRIKE]d[/STRIKE] with their contact details.

Thank you in advance for your attention and [STRIKE]greatly appreciated [/STRIKE]cooperation.

1.'I kindly inform you..' is unnecessary.
2. For official correspondence, it is better to use 'we' than 'I'.
3. 'Appreciate' is a transitive verb. So, you say 'appreciate it'.
4. We would appreciate it/We would be much obliged/We would be grateful.

not a teacher
 
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