Object: Financing your Project
We recently had exchanges with Mr. I. to inform; him that the financing of your project was conditioned by an audit to be carried out by an expert of our Group on the spot.
This expert will get in touch with you in 3 weeks times. His name is Mr. L.
His role is to:
analyze your request-
- check the technical, marketing, commercial and marketing data that you sent us
- look for possible PISTES of development
Once he provides his hand out, we will be able to give a prompt answer to your financial request.
I would like to specify that, contrary to your mail dating June 19, 2010, we have not approved any financial agreement.
Following our expert audit and in case we agree to finance, we will come to Egypt to:
-Sign up the financial contract
-Meet his Excellency, Mr. Prime Minister and the Minister of Foreign Affairs in the framework of the signature of (Accord de Siege I will check it later) between the Republic of A. and A. This agreement will allow our investors to commit themselves in various public and private funding, humanitarian or refundable.
Last edited by Annata; 25-Jun-2010 at 18:25.
I changed "three weeks times" to "three weeks' time." The noun "handout" is one word, but I don't think it's the word you're looking for; I think "analysis" or similar would fit better. I changed "your mail dating" to "the letter you sent dated;" if this was an email or fax, you could say "the email/fax you sent on (date)."
The "and" before "in case" is unnecessary, and "in case" doesn't really have the right tone. It carries a negative connotation; you see it on fire alarms ("in case of fire, break glass") and elevators ("in case of fire, use stairs. Do not use elevator.") You do things "in case" of something bad. "If" is more neutral. Also, you "sign up" on a list, you merely "sign" a contract.
It's very well-written overall. Good luck!