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  1. #1
    Mehrgan's Avatar
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    Question Any informal term for these people?

    Hi all,
    Though this may happen everywhere, it seems, at least as an stereotype, that people from the Middle East feel so possessive about their wives or female members of their families (or maybe due to some religious attitudes). I think the term 'possessive about' could be used here. Is there any informal term, slang, or idiom referring to such people? Especially if they're behaving over the top.

    (Once I heard "redneck", which I don't think is the right word...)


    Thanks in advance.

  2. #2
    emsr2d2's Avatar
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    Default Re: Any informal term for these people?

    Quote Originally Posted by Mehrgan View Post
    Hi all,
    Though this may happen everywhere, it seems, at least as an stereotype, that people from the Middle East feel so possessive about their wives or female members of their families (or maybe due to some religious attitudes). I think the term 'possessive about' could be used here. Is there any informal term, slang, or idiom referring to such people? Especially if they're behaving over the top.

    (Once I heard "redneck", which I don't think is the right word...)


    Thanks in advance.
    I think redneck has a different connotation but I'm sure an AmE speaker will confirm.

    I'm not sure about the cultural/religious background of it (and I don't want to get embroiled in generalisations about certain parts of the world), but men who feel above women generally can be called:

    Male chauvinists
    Misogynists (although this an actual hatred of women)
    Male chauvinist pig (this is a derogatory, informal phrase)

    I don't think there was anything wrong with using "possessive". "Some men are very possessive of their wives" (the same can be said about some wives of their husbands, of course!)

    The unfortunate spouse can be called "downtrodden", "under the thumb". Whichever spouse is seen to have all the power in a relationship is said to "wear the trousers"!

  3. #3
    2006 is offline Banned
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    Default Re: Any informal term for these people?

    Quote Originally Posted by Mehrgan View Post
    Hi all,
    Though this may happen everywhere, it seems, at least as an stereotype, that people from the Middle East feel so possessive about their wives or female members of their families (or maybe due to some religious attitudes). I think the term 'possessive about' could be used here. Is there any informal term, slang, or idiom referring to such people? Especially if they're behaving over the top.


    Thanks in advance.
    I want to be sure I understand what you mean. Does "possessive" mean that the females are like property, with few rights compared to males, or do you mean that the males are very protective?

  4. #4
    emsr2d2's Avatar
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    Default Re: Any informal term for these people?

    Quote Originally Posted by 2006 View Post
    I want to be sure I understand what you mean. Does "possessive" mean that the females are like property, with few rights compared to males, or do you mean that the males are very protective?
    I would say there's a big difference between possessive and protective.

    A possessive spouse, I would say, treats the other person as property, wanting to control what they do, who they see, where they go etc.

    A protective spouse is more considerate. They want to literally protect their partner from harmful situations, but in a good way.

    Of course, it's possible that being over-protective can be just as smothering if it's taken to extremes, with the protective partner not wanting their spouse perhaps to drive alone etc, in case of accidents. But any normal person is usually protective of their partner, children etc.

  5. #5
    Ouisch's Avatar
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    Default Re: Any informal term for these people?

    In AmE, "redneck" is a somewhat derogatory term for what some folks perceive to be a stereotypical poor white male farmer from the South (their necks are red from working outside in the sun all day). Comedian Jeff Foxworthy can probably describe the stereotype better than me:

    You might be a redneck if...
    ...your Christmas ornaments are made out of spent shot-gun shells.

    ... people don't recognize your car without a dead animal on the hood.

    ...you've ever had to siphon gas from your lawn mower to put into your truck.


    I live in the metro Detroit area which has a very high population of Middle Eastern immigrants, so I've heard several slang terms used to describe the possessive attitude Middle Eastern men appear (to Westerners) to have regarding their wives. However, as a rule any such term or nickname is certainly going to be offensive to the person you're describing, and it's best never to use them.

  6. #6
    2006 is offline Banned
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    Default Re: Any informal term for these people?

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    I would say there's a big difference between possessive and protective.
    Of course there is. I'm not suggesting they are the same. I want to be sure if she means 'ownership' or something else.
    2006

  7. #7
    emsr2d2's Avatar
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    Default Re: Any informal term for these people?

    Apologies 2006. For some reason, I thought that the post to which I replied had been posted by the OP and was a question in response to my reply!!! I somehow completely missed the fact that it had been posted by you, and was actually aimed at the OP!

    Oops!

  8. #8
    bertietheblue is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: Any informal term for these people?

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post

    A possessive spouse, I would say, treats the other person as property
    A possessive husband might demand total love and devotion from his wife and be jealous when this is wanting, but it's laying it on a bit thick to say that he treats her as 'property'.

  9. #9
    Barb_D's Avatar
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    Default Re: Any informal term for these people?

    How fortunate for you that you've never met men who act that way. Men who call their wives every five minutes while they are over at the neighbor's house. Men who check the odometer of their wife's car to know if they deviated from their trip and from work by a tenth of a mile. Men who keep the money in a checking account that the wife doesn't have access to, and gives her money to buy groceries, demanding the receipt and change. If those men don't consider their wives property, I don't know what they think.
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

  10. #10
    emsr2d2's Avatar
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    Default Re: Any informal term for these people?

    Quote Originally Posted by bertietheblue View Post
    A possessive husband might demand total love and devotion from his wife and be jealous when this is wanting, but it's laying it on a bit thick to say that he treats her as 'property'.
    Surely the words "possession" and "possessive" themselves suggest ownership, and therefore property.

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