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  1. 2010's Avatar
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    #1

    Talk with manager

    Manager: Why should I promote you?

    Me: I think I would be a good fit for the next level. I have proved my mettle during my first assingment at XYZ. The results were the outcome of the training and coaching provided to the folks regularly. Subsequently, when I came back to ABC, I was given a new assingment in which I beleive I succeded. Currently, I have been given a new process to work with and already we have seen the difference in the scores from where it was. Therefore, I guess I deserve to be promoted.

    Please help me if the above draft is okay. Any corrections or assistance is much appreciated!

  2. euncu's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Talk with manager

    Maybe you should get rid of all those I think, I guess, I believe stuff. They make you look insecure. And now that the question starts with why, you should start with Because.

  3. 2010's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: Talk with manager

    Quote Originally Posted by euncu View Post
    Maybe you should get rid of all those I think, I guess, I believe stuff. They make you look insecure. And now that the question starts with why, you should start with Because.
    Would'nt that sound very optimistic.

  4. 2010's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Talk with manager

    Any help please!

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      • English Teacher
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    #5

    Re: Talk with manager

    Quote Originally Posted by 2010 View Post
    Manager: Why should I promote you?

    Me: I think I would be a good fit for the next level. I have proved my mettle during my first assingment at XYZ. The results were the outcome of the training and coaching provided to the folks regularly. Subsequently, when I came back to ABC, I was given a new assingment in which I beleive I succeded. Currently, I have been given a new process to work with and already we have seen the difference in the scores from where it was. Therefore, I guess I deserve to be promoted.

    Please help me if the above draft is okay. Any corrections or assistance is much appreciated!
    -> I can state that I.....
    -> Indeed
    -> we have already
    -> After all the success that I have been attempting to achieve, I believe I deserve to be promoted to work and donate better for your company
    ( I hope I can help u promted)

  5. Raymott's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: Talk with manager

    Quote Originally Posted by euncu View Post
    Maybe you should get rid of all those I think, I guess, I believe stuff. They make you look insecure. And now that the question starts with why, you should start with Because.
    to 2010:
    I would keep "I believe". It's a sign of conviction. But not in the place you've used it. You could start with "I believe". I agree about getting rid of "I think" and definitely "I guess". You don't want your employer thinking that you guess about important things, especially at work.

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    #7

    Re: Talk with manager

    Quote Originally Posted by euncu View Post
    Maybe you should get rid of all those I think, I guess, I believe stuff. They make you look insecure. And now that the question starts with why, you should start with Because.

    I agree. To convince your employer to promote you, you have to be able to 'sell yourself'. Your letter should sound convincing and exude confidence, not with those wishy-washy phrases.

    not a teacher
    Last edited by tedtmc; 30-Jun-2010 at 13:23.

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