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  1. #1
    yeecharles is offline Junior Member
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    Default An Irritating Boy --Please edit my work

    The following is a true experience of mine. Please check my use of grammar in it.
    Thanks in advance.

    Title: An Irritating Boy

    During recess one morning , a boy came up to my desk in the teachers' staffroom.

    "Sir," said he, "what should I do to widen my English vocabulary?"

    "You should read more books." I replied smilingly. I had been marking exercise books at my desk before the interruption.

    "Do you still read books, sir?" the boy went on. We were speaking in Chinese, by the way, and he seemed quite a humble and nice lad.

    "Yes, I do. I always read."

    "Do you still look up the meanings of words in dictionaries?" he asked again. Obviously very curious.

    "Of course, you should do the same too," said I, with a sagacious nod.

    The boy then went silent. He blinked and bit his lower lip.

    "What's wrong, Martin?"

    But he only shook his head and indicated towards the pile of books and dictionaries on my desk.

    "Sir, are these all yours?"

    "Yes."

    A mischievous spark shone in his eyes.

    "Sir, I think your English is bad. You depend too much on dictionaries."

    "I beg your pardon!?" I could not believe my ears.

    "A smart teacher will never refer to dictionaries. You are not as good as I thought." Obnoxious little toad!

    "Martin! You shouldn't be saying such things! To widen our vocabulary, we all need to read and refer to dictionaries. One will never learn enough English!" I burst out, quite taken aback and shocked at his impertinence.

    No reply, only a wide grin at me. Did he understand what was being said, or was he merely pretending to be naive?

    " Sir, I would like to go back to my class now, Thank you very much for your advice." All courtesy now. Smooth cheek indeed, coming from a pint-sized pipsqueak like that!

    "You're welcome." I said, anxious to be well rid of him

    And with that, he walked out of the staff room rather gleefully, and without a trace of guilt written on his beaming face.

    Cheeky little devil!
    Last edited by yeecharles; 02-Jul-2010 at 14:02.

  2. #2
    billmcd is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: An Irritating Boy --Please edit my work

    Excellent!

  3. #3
    Raymott's Avatar
    Raymott is offline VIP Member
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    Default Re: An Irritating Boy --Please edit my work

    Quote Originally Posted by yeecharles View Post

    An Irritating Boy [Don't put "Title: " before the title]

    During recess one morning, a boy came up to my desk in the teachers' staffroom.

    "Sir," said he, "what should I do to widen my English vocabulary?"

    "You should read more books," I replied, smilingly. [Better] I had been marking exercise books at my desk before the interruption.

    "Do you still read books, Sir?" the boy went on. We were speaking in Chinese, by the way, and he seemed quite a humble and nice lad.

    "Yes, I do. I always read."

    "Do you still look up the meanings of words in dictionaries?" he asked again. Obviously very curious.

    "Of course. You should do the same too," said I, with a sagacious nod.
    [Without the punctuation after "of course", it means "You should, of course, do the same", not "Of course I do". A semi-colon would also be OK.]


    The boy then went silent. He blinked and bit his lower lip.

    "What's wrong, Martin?"

    But he only shook his head and indicated towards the pile of books and dictionaries on my desk.

    "Sir, are these all yours?"

    "Yes."

    A mischievous spark shone in his eyes.

    "Sir, I think your English is bad. You depend too much on dictionaries."

    "I beg your pardon?!" I could not believe my ears.
    [I'd put the question mark first, "?!". If the sentence is primarily a question, but you're also exclaiming, that would make sense, but I can't find any authority for that just at the moment.]

    "A smart teacher will never refer to dictionaries. You are not as good as I thought." Obnoxious little toad!

    "Martin! You shouldn't be saying such things! To widen our vocabulary, we all need to read and refer to dictionaries. One will never learn enough English!" I burst out, quite taken aback and shocked at his impertinence.

    No reply, only a wide grin at me. Did he understand what was being said, or was he merely pretending to be naive?

    "Sir, I would like to go back to my class now. Thank you very much for your advice." All courtesy now. Smooth cheek indeed, coming from a pint-sized pipsqueak like that!

    "You're welcome," I said, anxious to be well rid of him

    And with that, he walked out of the staff room rather gleefully, and without a trace of guilt written on his beaming face.

    Cheeky little devil!
    I can't find much wrong with it.

  4. #4
    tedtmc is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: An Irritating Boy --Please edit my work

    Nice piece of anecdote, charles.
    I am not sure it is apt to describe the boy as 'irritating'.
    I would call him a cheeky bugger!

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