Results 1 to 3 of 3
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    12
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Please proofread - college level

    I have a big favor to ask. Could someone please proofread my email assignment? I have a lot of problems with articles (a, the, an), I've been reading it over and over but I just can't spot any mistakes, although I know there are many.
    I appreciate your help! Thanks!`


    Dear Charlotte,

    I’ve been receiving a growing number of complaints about our library. Students are irritated and are complaining on a management of the periodic area of the library.
    Between June 20th and June 27th, 2010 I carried out a research, using a feedback forms, regarding several aspects of the area, including atmosphere, resources, staff, and accessibility to find out validity of those complaints.

    · Atmosphere
    o 79% of students stated that atmosphere is very relaxed and friendly. They were generally satisfied with library’s physical environment which provoked positive emotional response.
    o Library structure which includes a color schemes, ventilation, furniture and upholstery was also evaluated favorably by 83%.
    o 37% of students rated computers and lighting negatively. A significant cause of eye strain for computer users was mainly due to a reflected light from poorly placed light fixtures on a glass screen.

    · Resources
    o Although our library provides over 250,000 books and digital media resources, over 66% of students complained on the poor management of a periodic area.
    o Further 89% of students were dissatisfied with cut out articles from magazines and journals.
    o Minority of students, 23% were disappointed with resources provided for distance learners and staff’s assessment of those needs.

    · Staff
    o Only 17% of students admitted that staff could quickly and accurately identify major management problems in the library. Especially inability to acknowledge differences between managing and doing was pointed out.
    o Over 68% of the students recognized staff’s interpersonal skills. They appreciated enthusiastic commitment, high degree of honesty, loyalty and integrity as well as high devotion to harmony.
    o 63% of students were disappointed with how library staff is dealing with unorganized periodic area of the library.
    o With many magazines torn-up and no apparent attempt to repair them, 73% of students questioned staff’s dedication and commitment to work.

    · Accessibility
    o Only 22% of students were satisfied with accessibility to the periodic area resources. The rest has pointed out pile up of magazines and journals on the tables as well as poor organization on the shelves.
    o While all students were satisfied with special computer workstation features and retrieval of library materials, 19% students were dissatisfied with restrooms which are not barrier free.

    This research provided very valuable information regarding library’s management. It’s important for us to communicate with students and make necessary adjustments to provide a better service. Feedback forms proved to be efficient and effective form of communication as over 2700 students responded to the research. I’m sure gathered information will help us resolve above issues, especially with a periodic area management and make students pleased and satisfied with our services.

  2. #2
    tedtmc is offline Key Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Interested in Language
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • Malaysia
      • Current Location:
      • Malaysia
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    2,130
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: Please proofread - college level

    Quote Originally Posted by olej View Post
    Dear Charlotte,

    I’ve been receiving a growing number of complaints about our library. The students are irritated and are complaining on a about the management of the periodic area of the library. (do you mean the area for periodicals?)
    Between June 20th and June 27th, 2010 I carried out a research, using a feedback forms, regarding on several aspects of the area, including the atmosphere, resources, staff, and the accessibility to finding out the validity of those complaints.

    · The atmosphere (environment?)
    o 79% of the students stated that the atmosphere is very relaxed and friendly. They were generally satisfied with library’s physical environment which provokedpromoted positive emotional response.
    o The library structure (building/interior environment would be better) which includes a the color schemes, ventilation, furniture and upholstery was also evaluated favorably by 83%.
    o 37% of the students rated the computers and the lighting negatively. A significant cause of eye strain for computer users was mainly due to a reflected the light reflected from poorly placed light fixtures on a glass screen. (what glass screen?)

    · Resources
    o Although our library provides over 250,000 books and digital media resources, over 66% of the students complained on about the poor management of a periodic the periodicals area.
    o A further 89% of the students were dissatisfied with cut-out articles from magazines and journals articles being cut out from the magazines and journals.
    o The minority of students, 23% were disappointed with the resources provided for distance distant learners and the staff’s assessment of those their needs.

    · Staff
    o Only 17% of students admitted that the staff could quickly and accurately identify major management problems in the library, especially the inability to acknowledge the differences between managing and doing (execution) was pointed out.
    o Over 68% of the students recognized the staff’s good interpersonal skills. They appreciated the enthusiastic commitment, high degree of honesty, loyalty and integrity as well as high devotion to harmony(? I don't know what you mean by this).
    o 63% of the students were disappointed with how the library staff is dealing with unorganized periodic disorganized periodical area of the library.
    o With so many magazines torn-up and no apparent attempt to repair them, 73% of the students questioned the staff’s dedication and commitment to work.

    · Accessibility
    o Only 22% of the students were satisfied with the accessibility to the periodical area resources. The rest have pointed out pile-up of magazines and journals on the tables as well as the poor organization on the shelves.
    o While all students were satisfied with the special computer workstation features and retrieval of library materials, 19% students were dissatisfied with the restrooms which are not kept barrier free.

    This research provided very valuable information regarding the library’s management. It’s important for us to communicate with the students and make necessary adjustments to provide a better service. Feedback forms proved to be efficient and effective form of communication as over 2700 students responded to the research. I’m sure the gathered information gathered will help us resolve above issues, especially with a better managed periodical area management so that the students would be pleased and satisfied with our services.

    You do have problem with the articles.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    12
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: Please proofread - college level

    Ted, great thanks!

    I appreciate it.

Similar Threads

  1. Could ANYONE proofread my college essay?! please! thank you!
    By thatsanlol in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 27-Oct-2008, 02:03
  2. Junior college/community college
    By ohmyrichard in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 17-Jul-2008, 08:54
  3. Replies: 5
    Last Post: 22-Oct-2006, 18:47
  4. School level vs. learning level
    By Levona in forum Teaching English
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 18-Aug-2006, 10:29
  5. School level vs. Learning level
    By Levona in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 13-Aug-2006, 16:53

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Hotchalk