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  1. #1
    swapnas is offline Newbie
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    Post The deadly 'end game' for leaded petrol

    Hi,

    I would like to practice writing essays,so yesterday after reading an article I wrote the below snippet. As I am beginner I am afraid to start writing on my own topic.




    -------***************---------------------


    Tetra Ethyl Lead(TEL) is a killer chemical ,now a days banned by western countries including India.

    The colour less oily liquid is so toxic that workers went mad and died during first attempt to manufacture TEL commercially at Bay Way refinery in NewJersy,1924.
    American news papers called it 'loony gas'.
    After scandal at Bay Way ,double skinned Rubber Gear and Goggles became de riguer in its manufacturing.
    TEL is the 'LEAD' in leaded petrol: a heavy metal compounded to improve engine performance.
    It was promoted by oil industry for 50 years ,until evidance of childhood neurological damage eventually outlawed it by 2000 in Europe & US.

    It was political triumph for veteran British campaigner Des Wilson,But the grim-looking Octel plant alongside the Manchester ship canal went on making LED,the only place in the world to do so.

    Postponing the day to stop manufacturing of LED at Octel,the managers of company made high profits with their generous salaries and share options.The countries of Indonesia and Iraq continued as their customers for 10 yrs to buy TEL,allowing their citizens to inhale the most dangerous lead dust from exhausts.

    The researched efforts of exposure to TEL can include reduction in children IQ's,long term increase in violent crime and mental illness.

    Octel former CEO,Dennis kerrison said,'Our Strategy was to win the endgame for TEL'. He assured the investors in 1988: "Developing these markets promises more than sufficient cash flow for at least next eight years".

    'Maximise the cash flow' became company's mantra. They aggresively increased the prices to LED,as all rival manufacturers lef the field.

    The company was managing all this bussiness by bribing the official's visiting London every time.

    Company accounts show that from 1998 - 20009 ,the octels revenue from exporting TEL to various developing countries was $1.8 bn,with profits totally more than $600m.

    Kerrison,the CEO who ran Octels 'end-game',stepped down in 2005.He was handed a severance packed recorded at $4m.
    Later his successor paul also took off from company in 2009 with an package of $1.8m.

    The final penality was running the successful show of manufacturing TEL, all these years would have been in $400 m,but it was let off with a length of that amount $40.2 m ( again the corruption has shown its power here also).

    The high penality was paid by the Children and People in Jakarta and Baghdad had suffered from inhale of the dust.

  2. #2
    Raymott's Avatar
    Raymott is offline VIP Member
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    Default Re: The deadly 'end game' for leaded petrol

    Quote Originally Posted by swapnas View Post
    Hi,

    I would like to practice writing essays,so yesterday after reading an article I wrote the below snippet. As I am beginner I am afraid to start writing on my own topic.
    Hi,
    I'll mention spaces around punctuation once here, so you'll understand all the red marks.
    The pattern is always: word, punctuation, space, word.
    There is never a space before a punctuation mark, and always one after. (As a general rule).



    -------***************---------------------


    Tetra Ethyl Lead(TEL) is a killer chemical ,nowadays banned by western countries including India.
    [Is India counted as a Western country now?]

    The colourless oily liquid is so toxic that workers went mad and died during the first attempt to manufacture TEL commercially at Bay Way refinery in NewJersy,1924.
    American newspapers called it 'loony gas'.
    After the scandal at Bay Way ,double skinned Rubber Gear and Goggles became de riguer in its manufacturing.
    TEL is the 'LEAD' in leaded petrol: a heavy metal compounded to improve engine performance.
    It was promoted by the oil industry for 50 years ,until evidence of childhood neurological damage eventually outlawed it by 2000 in Europe and US.
    [No, the evidence didn't outlaw it. It may have led to its outlawing though.]

    It was a political triumph for veteran British campaigner Des Wilson,But the grim-looking Octel plant alongside the Manchester ship canal went on making LED,the only place in the world to do so.

    Postponing the day to stop manufacturing of LED at Octel,the managers of the company made high profits with their generous salaries and share options.The countries of Indonesia and Iraq continued as their customers for 10 yrs to buy TEL,allowing their citizens to inhale the most dangerous lead dust from exhausts.

    The researched efforts of exposure to TEL can include reduction in children IQ's,long term increase in violent crime and mental illness. IQs

    Octel former CEO,Dennis kerrison said,'Our Strategy was to win the endgame for TEL'. He assured the investors in 1988: "Developing these markets promises more than sufficient cash flow for at least next eight years".

    'Maximise the cash flow' became company's mantra. They aggresively increased the prices to LED,as all rival manufacturers left the field.

    The company was managing all this business by bribing the officials visiting London every time.

    Company accounts show that from 1998 - 20009 ,the octels revenue from exporting TEL to various developing countries was $1.8b,with profits totally more than $600m.

    Kerrison,the CEO who ran Octels 'end-game',stepped down in 2005.He was handed a severance packed recorded at $4m.
    Later his successor paul also took off from company in 2009 with an package of $1.8m.

    The final penality was running the successful show of manufacturing TEL, all these years would have been in $400 m,but it was let off with a length of that amount $40.2 m ( again the corruption has shown its power here also).

    The high penality was paid by the Children and People in Jakarta and Baghdad had suffered from inhale of the dust.
    I haven't corrected all your mistakes. There's a few spelling errors that a Spell Checker will pick up.
    You need to work on articles - 'the, a'. And you must put spaces on the right side of punctuations marks.

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