It's the first time that I ask questions here. Nice to meet you.
Please see the sentences as follows:
If these sentences were written by me, they would be:
Mossolini, hard pressed by Sanctions, and under the very heavy threat of "fifty nations led by one", would, it was whispered, welcome a compromise of Abyssinia. (Winston S. Churchill, The second World War)
By that time, the President's plans, both military and political, went far advanced. (Brian Crozier, De Gaulle)
Now the crisis, from de Gaulle's point of view, was boiling up nicely. (Brian Crozier, De Gaulle)
Similar in principle to the enclosing of parenthetic expressions between commas is the setting off by commas of phrases or dependent clauses preceding or following the main clause of a sentence. (William Strunk JR., The Elements of Style)
In fact, my version is just the same as what the original sentences have been translated as in the Chinese version of those books where the sentences come. So you can see some difference between English and Chinese, which I regard as a big obstacle to my English writing.
It was whispered that hard pressed by Sanctions and under the very heavy threat of "fifty nations led by one", Mossolini would welcome a compromise of Abyssinia.
By that time, the President's both military and political plans went far advanced.
Now from de Gaulle's point of view, the crisis was boiling up nicely.
In principle, similar to the enclosing of parenthetic expressions between commas, phrases or dependent clauses preceding or following the main clause of a sentence should be set off by commas.
Would you please tell me what is the difference between the authors' version and mine, and why the authors chose their method of expressing?
I would be most grateful if you could give me some advice about improving English writing on my own. It's too expensive and not easy for me to seek the instruction from native-speaking English teachers in China.
Any comments are welcome.