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  1. #1
    lalashow is offline Newbie
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    Default please help edit my essay

    i will have a test for TOEFL this Saturday. I can use some sentences in this essay for the test. Please help me correct my mistakes and improve my writing skill. Thank you!!
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    the best way to improve the quality of education in a country is to increase teachersí salaries

    Nowadays discussion about whether an increase of the teachers' salaries is the best way to improve the quality of education in a country causes a heated debate over a long period time. Some, maintaining this viewpoint that the quality of education depends on all teachers, claim that raising their earnings deeply benefits the country's education. I concede their opinion. Nevertheless, as for me, the importance of the numerous sustainable investments and the wide attention towards education should not be overlooked.

    Initially, one issue which encourages me to hold this attitude is that the numerous sustainable investments have many desirable impacts on all realms of education. For example, the generous investments towards education can spawn great advances in basic educational equipments and various areas of research, providing us a first-class and comfortable environment for study and teach, and presenting a fantastic bloom of academic achievements. Similarly, the sustainable financial supports is able to satisfy students and teachers' essential needs for education, such as an experiment facility and a computer for clips playback, and moreover create the best opportunities for them to achieve their incredible imaginations. Perhaps most importantly, this investment can turn out to be an awesome reward, thereby offering a tremendous improvement and enhancement in education.

    To back up my point, it could be relevant to include another cause that a wide attention always cause a positive impact on education. Education, as a huge vital project, advances human civilization at a rapid rate over thousands of years. Thanks to human education, we, human beings, live through the Stone Age to the Information Age. What an amazing miracle. However, education is an immensely complicated system which involves science, economy, and culture. We cannot manage education well only by a few people. It needs lots of people, institutions and countries together, devoting every attention to various aspects of education. Imagine this, how whole society cannot promise a bright perspective of education even under all endeavors.

    On the other hand, it is essential not to take this assertion too far. An increase of teachers' salaries apparently will improve the quality of education. To a large extent, a brilliant teacher is one of the most influential sources of education. A considerable salary will attract more people to be a tutor or instructor. However, as I said just now, teachers are only a small part of education system. We cannot be too naive to consider an improvement of teachers' welfare as the optimum way for the improvement of education.

  2. #2
    hemmin is offline Junior Member
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    Default Re: please help edit my essay


    The discussion on whether an increase in the teachers' salaries is the right solution for improving the quality of education in a country is the question.

    Those who agree with this viewpoint that the quality of education depends on all teachers, claim that an increase in their earnings deeply benefits the education system of a country. I concede their opinion. Nevertheless, as for me, the importance of the numerous sustainable investments and the wide attention towards education should not be overlooked.

    Initially, one issue, which encourages me to hold this attitude, is that the numerous sustainable investments have many desirable impacts on all realms of education. For example, the generous investments towards education can spawn great advances in basic educational equipment and various areas of research, providing us a first-class and comfortable environment for studying and teaching, and presenting a fantastic bloom of academic achievementsí. Similarly, the sustainable financial supports is able to satisfy students and teachers' essential needs for education, such as an experiment facility and a computer for clips playback, and moreover create the best opportunities for them to achieve their incredible imaginations. Perhaps most importantly, this investment can turn out to be an awesome reward, thereby offering a tremendous improvement and enhancement in education.

    To defend my viewpoint , it could be relevant to include another cause that a wide attention always cause a positive impact on education. Education, as a huge vital project, advances human civilization at a rapid rate over thousands of years. Thanks to human education, we, human beings, live through the Stone Age to the Information Age. What an amazing miracle. However, education is an immensely complicated system that involves science, economy, and culture. We cannot manage education well only by a few people. It needs the involvement of educationsits, intellectuals. Social activistsí, those with the right attitude to serve and deliver. It. Imagine this, how whole society cannot promise a bright perspective of education even under all endeavors.

    On the other hand, it is essential not to take this assertion too far. An increase of teachers' salaries apparently will improve the quality of education. Largely, a brilliant teacher is one of the most influential sources of education. A considerable salary will attract more people to be a tutor or instructor. However, as I said just now, teachers are only a small part of education system. We cannot be too naive to consider an improvement of teachers' welfare as the optimum way for the improvement of education.


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