this is my final version. i need lots of comment.
"Dear sir or madam,
I am writing this email to asking more information about enrollment of ESOL 201.
I am a graduate and i find that my writing is creating me quite many obstacles. That i am still writing unclear statements pass to my reader false idea of what i mean. It could possibly block me to write better English in future job fields.
I certain taking this course can gain me more confidents to remove this obstacles.
I am a graduate. Is it possible for a graduate to enroll this course? I would like to know any possible enrollment for my situation.
I would appreciate it if you could guide me in the right path for enrollment or if the department will be able to give me a possible enrollment.
Looking forward to hear from you soon"
Last edited by sayla; 07-Jul-2010 at 02:46.
As far as having your meaning clear then its fine. While we could offer many corrections, I'd say the errors in the letter itself demonstrate your need for the course.