correct simple paragraph

[osaa]

Q- Some people prefer to take a position in a company and work for the company. Other people think it is better to go into business for themselves. Which do you think is better? Give reasons and examples to support your response.

my answer:
I prefer work for company. It has guaranty financially and I go work every day. I also think that, I stand part of work and do not stand all losing . In a few lines, I will explain my own opinion and reasons in detail.

Firstly, our work part time while finished it will my own. I learn how I be patience and team working. I have experience during work and I learn how I control my self. I have many relationship.

Secondly, I have many position without hard working and afraid from failure. I earn many things from the company like car, health insurance.
On the other hand , there are side point is limited salary while private business I have more money. It’s excite all my ideas.

Finally every person have thinking both choices because each one have many advantages .

Would you correct my simple paragraph ?.
I wait you.

 

[hemmin]

I prefer to work for company as it guarantees regular inflow of income. Working for a company has its own advantages and following are the reasons:

• Whether I work part-time or full-time, I stand to gain experiences of working in a team and develop my inter-personal skills
• Also helps in managing relationships both at official and personal front.
• Also, being employed for a company, I may get lot of opportunities to perform various roles within my job profile.
• Performing various roles within the organization would certainly help me to enjoy lot of perks like a car, healthcare insurance, etc.
• The only draw back is that I get a fixed, limited salary every month, yet by judiciously allocating for my personal and household expenses, I may also put some money in some small –saving schemes with a nominal rate of interest.

Well, finally every person can exercise his choice of working, whether to be self=employed or work for another company.

 

[osaa]

hemmin

thank you for help me. I benefit from your replay.