plz plz can anyone correct this report??

[nogy]

help needed !!! can anyone correct this report plz..

i will be grateful if anyone replied as soon as possible..
ACADEMIC IELTS TEST

writing task 1
the question says the charts below show the results of a survey of adult education.The first chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study.the pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared.write 150 words.

my answer:

In this report I am going to describe 2 charts.

The first is a barchart that shows the number of adults(in percentages) and reasons why they decide to study. The least percentage (9%) goes to meeting people, closely followed by 12% for the ability to change jobs. Also, 2 equal percentages were given to enjoying learning/studying and improving prospects of promotion which were both 20%.Where as, 22% of adults said they want to study because,it will be helpful for their current jobs. 38% was given for gaining qualifications and the last one gets the most percentage with(40%) for interest in subject.

The second is a pie chart that gives an overview on how the costs of each course should be shared amongst people.Firstly, it shows that 40% of the costs must be paid by an individual. This is by far the maximum percentage in this chart.Secondly, te employer should pay 35%. Finally, the tax payers ought to pay the least amount with 25% of the costs.

This ends my report. (172 words)






how much band width will i get in this report???

 

[shroob]

help needed !!! can anyone correct this report plz..

i will be grateful if anyone replied as soon as possible..
ACADEMIC IELTS TEST

writing task 1
the question says the charts below show the results of a survey of adult education.The first chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study.the pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared.write 150 words.

my answer:

In this report I am going to describe 2 charts.

The first is a barchart that shows the number of adults(in percentages) and reasons why they decide to study. The least percentage (9%) goes to meeting people, closely followed by 12% for the ability to change jobs. Also, 2 equal percentages were given to enjoying learning/studying and improving prospects of promotion which were both 20%.Where as, 22% of adults said they want to study because,it will be helpful for their current jobs. 38% was given for gaining qualifications and the last one gets the most percentage with(40%) for interest in subject.

The second is a pie chart that gives an overview on how the costs of each course should be shared amongst people.Firstly, it shows that 40% of the costs must be paid by an individual. This is by far the maximum percentage in this chart.Secondly, te employer should pay 35%. Finally, the tax payers ought to pay the least amount with 25% of the costs.

This ends my report. (172 words)


how much band width will i get in this report???

I'll try and help, but I'm not sure how much use I will be.

As I understand it, you have 2 graphs to look at (a bar chart and a pie chart) and you have to describe them.

First I'm having a few problems understanding your description of the first chart, you give percentages but they add up to 161%.
Meeting people - 9%
Ability to change jobs - 12%
Enjoy learning/studying - 20%
Improving prospects - 20%
Helpful for current jobs - 22%
Gaining qualifications - 38%
Interest in subject - 40%

Now the last 3 add up to 100%, but if we remove them, you're left with 61%. So I'm having a few problems understanding the maths. Maybe its me and I'm missing something but if you could help clear it up I'll try and help more.

Also I'm not sure what you mean when you say 'How much band width will I get for this report?' - Do you mean what mark?

 

[nogy]

I'll try and help, but I'm not sure how much use I will be.

As I understand it, you have 2 graphs to look at (a bar chart and a pie chart) and you have to describe them.

First I'm having a few problems understanding your description of the first chart, you give percentages but they add up to 161%.
Meeting people - 9%
Ability to change jobs - 12%
Enjoy learning/studying - 20%
Improving prospects - 20%
Helpful for current jobs - 22%
Gaining qualifications - 38%
Interest in subject - 40%

Now the last 3 add up to 100%, but if we remove them, you're left with 61%. So I'm having a few problems understanding the maths. Maybe its me and I'm missing something but if you could help clear it up I'll try and help more.

Also I'm not sure what you mean when you say 'How much band width will I get for this report?' - Do you mean what mark?

yeah i mean what mark will i get in this?? oh and these are the numbers given in the charts so thats where i got them from..... no worries about the %'s juss the english plz thankx....

 

[Editors4Writers]

I saw your visitor message on my profile. I'd be glad to help. I hope you consider hiring my company to assist you in the future. www.editors4writers.com

[STRIKE]In this report [/STRIKE] I [STRIKE]am going to[/STRIKE] will analyze two charts in this comprehensive report.

The first [STRIKE]is a bar[/STRIKE] chart [STRIKE]that[/STRIKE] shows the number of adults (in percentages) and their reasons [STRIKE]why they decide to[/STRIKE] for studying. [STRIKE]The least[/STRIKE]For one thing, people who studied to meet people only comprised of [STRIKE]goes to illustrate that meeting people [/STRIKE] 9%, [STRIKE]closely[/STRIKE] followed by 12% [STRIKE]for[/STRIKE] of adults who desired the ability to change jobs. [STRIKE]Also, 2[/STRIKE] Two categories, moreover, shared equal percentages: both [STRIKE]were given to[/STRIKE] who enjoyed[STRIKE]ing[/STRIKE] learning/studying and those that wanted increased chances of a [STRIKE]improving prospects[/STRIKE] promotion [STRIKE]which were both[/STRIKE] tied at 20%. [STRIKE]Where as, [/STRIKE]22% of adults [STRIKE]said[/STRIKE] commented that studying is beneficial toward their current job. [STRIKE]they want to study because,it will be helpful for[/STRIKE]. Finally, 38% [STRIKE]was given for gaining[/STRIKE] studied to gain additional qualifications[STRIKE]and [/STRIKE] while 40% were simply interested in a subject[STRIKE]the last one gets the most percentage with(40%) for interest in subject[/STRIKE].

The second [STRIKE]is a pie[/STRIKE] chart [STRIKE]that[/STRIKE][STRIKE]gives[/STRIKE] shows [STRIKE]an overview[/STRIKE] the distribution of [STRIKE]how the[/STRIKE] cost[STRIKE]s[/STRIKE] pertaining to each course [STRIKE]should be shared amongst people[/STRIKE]. The chart shows that 40% of [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] costs [STRIKE]must be paid by an[/STRIKE] require individuals to pay, which is the [STRIKE]by far[/STRIKE] the [STRIKE]maximum[/STRIKE] highest [STRIKE]this chart[/STRIKE]); however, [STRIKE]Secondly, t[/STRIKE]employers [STRIKE]should[/STRIKE] only pay 35%. [STRIKE]Finally[/STRIKE][STRIKE] the [/STRIKE] Tax payers, on the other hand, [STRIKE]ought to [/STRIKE]pay the least amount of 25% [STRIKE]of the costs[/STRIKE].

This concludes my analysis.




I removed the distinctions for the charts because you made it ambiguous. Good luck! Contact me if you want to hire us in the future; we guarantee 100% satisfaction.

 

[nogy]

I saw your visitor message on my profile. I'd be glad to help. I hope you consider hiring my company to assist you in the future. www.editors4writers.com

[STRIKE]In this report [/STRIKE] I [STRIKE]am going to[/STRIKE] will analyze two charts in this comprehensive report.

The first [STRIKE]is a bar[/STRIKE] chart [STRIKE]that[/STRIKE] shows the number of adults (in percentages) and their reasons [STRIKE]why they decide to[/STRIKE] for studying. [STRIKE]The least[/STRIKE]For one thing, people who studied to meet people only comprised of [STRIKE]goes to illustrate that meeting people [/STRIKE] 9%, [STRIKE]closely[/STRIKE] followed by 12% [STRIKE]for[/STRIKE] of adults who desired the ability to change jobs. [STRIKE]Also, 2[/STRIKE] Two categories, moreover, shared equal percentages: both [STRIKE]were given to[/STRIKE] who enjoyed[STRIKE]ing[/STRIKE] learning/studying and those that wanted increased chances of a [STRIKE]improving prospects[/STRIKE] promotion [STRIKE]which were both[/STRIKE] tied at 20%. [STRIKE]Where as, [/STRIKE]22% of adults [STRIKE]said[/STRIKE] commented that studying is beneficial toward their current job. [STRIKE]they want to study because,it will be helpful for[/STRIKE]. Finally, 38% [STRIKE]was given for gaining[/STRIKE] studied to gain additional qualifications[STRIKE]and [/STRIKE] while 40% were simply interested in a subject[STRIKE]the last one gets the most percentage with(40%) for interest in subject[/STRIKE].

The second [STRIKE]is a pie[/STRIKE] chart [STRIKE]that[/STRIKE][STRIKE]gives[/STRIKE] shows [STRIKE]an overview[/STRIKE] the distribution of [STRIKE]how the[/STRIKE] cost[STRIKE]s[/STRIKE] pertaining to each course [STRIKE]should be shared amongst people[/STRIKE]. The chart shows that 40% of [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] costs [STRIKE]must be paid by an[/STRIKE] require individuals to pay, which is the [STRIKE]by far[/STRIKE] the [STRIKE]maximum[/STRIKE] highest [STRIKE]this chart[/STRIKE]); however, [STRIKE]Secondly, t[/STRIKE]employers [STRIKE]should[/STRIKE] only pay 35%. [STRIKE]Finally[/STRIKE][STRIKE] the [/STRIKE] Tax payers, on the other hand, [STRIKE]ought to [/STRIKE]pay the least amount of 25% [STRIKE]of the costs[/STRIKE].

This concludes my analysis.




I removed the distinctions for the charts because you made it ambiguous. Good luck! Contact me if you want to hire us in the future; we guarantee 100% satisfaction.

thankx alot for your help, i actually posted a couple of essays and i would be grateful if u help me with them too.