[General] Technology!

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Farhaj

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Feb 5, 2005
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Technology plays vital role in modern world. The advancement in every field of life is possible just because of Technology. It derives many many years of hard work done by scientist.

Many countries in the world are still striving to achieve highest level of achievement in the field of Technology. It can be Computer Technology, Science Technology, Agriculture Technology or more importantantly Health Technology. It is proved in the history that by acquiring right type of advancement in every sphere of life you can compete with the world and mark your thumb on top. I believe, West is so far ahead from Asian countries except Japan, China. Now, transfer of technology is possible because of the globalization. We hope that in coming years the gap of technology between West and Asia will be squeezed.

(Dear Teachers, Please check paragraph and grade me out of 10. Also left remarks about my english expression.) Thank You all.
 
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Technology plays a vital role in modern world and makes possible the advancement in every field of life[STRIKE] is possible just because of Technology.[/STRIKE] It derives from many [STRIKE]many[/STRIKE] years of hard work done by scientist. (your sentences were fine, but I thought it would be better this way ;-))

Many countries in the world are still striving to reach the highest level of achievement in different fields such as Computer Technology, Science Technology, Agriculture Technology or more important[STRIKE]ant[/STRIKE]ly Health Technology. It is proved by [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] history that, by acquiring right type of advancement in every sphere of life, (I'm not sure if on can acquire a type of advancement) you can compete with the world (How can you compete with the world? Perhaps you can keep pace with the world would be a better choice)and mark your thumb on top. I believe, West is so far ahead [STRIKE]from[/STRIKE] of Asian countries except Japan and China. Now, technology transfer is possible because of the globalization. We hope that [STRIKE]in coming years[/STRIKE] the gap of technology between West and Asia will be squeezed in near future.

I think it's fine now.
 

Farhaj

Junior Member
Joined
Feb 5, 2005
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Urdu
Home Country
Pakistan
Current Location
Pakistan
Technology plays a vital role in modern world and makes possible the advancement in every field of life[STRIKE] is possible just because of Technology.[/STRIKE] It derives from many [STRIKE]many[/STRIKE] years of hard work done by scientist. (your sentences were fine, but I thought it would be better this way ;-))

Many countries in the world are still striving to reach the highest level of achievement in different fields such as Computer Technology, Science Technology, Agriculture Technology or more important[STRIKE]ant[/STRIKE]ly Health Technology. It is proved by [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] history that, by acquiring right type of advancement in every sphere of life, (I'm not sure if on can acquire a type of advancement) you can compete with the world (How can you compete with the world? Perhaps you can keep pace with the world would be a better choice)and mark your thumb on top. I believe, West is so far ahead [STRIKE]from[/STRIKE] of Asian countries except Japan and China. Now, technology transfer is possible because of the globalization. We hope that [STRIKE]in coming years[/STRIKE] the gap of technology between West and Asia will be squeezed in near future.

I think it's fine now.

Thank You so much for your precious time. I need your constant support to improve my english expression. If you do have any suggestions how to improve my writting skills then please do let me know.

Once again thank you very much my dear.
 
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