[Essay] do u agree or disagree?? plz check my essay!!

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khan101

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I would be really greatfull if someone check this essay and make corrections or give valuable advice, thanks!! :)


Topic: t.v, news paper, magazines and other media pay too much attention to the personal lives of the famous people such as public figures and celebrities. Give reasons and details to explain your opinion.



Nowadays, media is a source of information around the world. Television , newspaper, magazines provide the news and happenings which is a source of awareness for all. People in any part of the world are now able to know what is happening in the other part. They are now familiar with people across the world by the help of this vast media. People recognize celebrities belonging to different countries even if they have not seen them in person. All this is because of the advent of media that people now can enjoy the events and get updated with the latest news across the world.

However, alongwith the advantages of the media, there are some disadvantages which are usually faced by the most common faces around the world, the celebrities. Famous personalities belonging to various countries and diverse fields such as politicians, artists, poets etc are certainly annoyed by the too much interference of the media into their personal lives. Newspaper and television publish and broadcast private issues and scandals related to the personal lives of these famous personalities as these people are much admired or are usually the centre of attraction for the general public. People would like to read the articles and interviews related to their favorite personalities about their personal lives, their likes and dislikes and their work.This might not be possible for every famous person to disclose about their personal lives on air to the public as they want to keep privacy in their lives.

Being a celebrity, it is not an easy task to get rid of coverage of the news channels or the media as every single activity of their live is been broadcast or revealed to the public without their consent. This is done by the media for the selfish act of achieving popularity. People often lie or hide from the media in order to escape from getting highlighted in the newspapers. Thre should be a proper check and balance over the media to get the coverage of only limited news and events relating to the celebrities and that also with their permission.

Thus, it is not wrong to say that sometimes there are some news and scandals provided by the media in order to achieve publicity although these news might not always be true. the media should respect teh privacy of the celebrities and should not interfere in their private lives. Publishing news to such extend that it hurts or humiliate one's feelings or disclosing someone's private issues is a shameful act and it should be refrained to accomplish such indecent practice.
 
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khan101

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please anyone just suggest me how is this essay?? im preparing for the toefl exam which require 250-300 words essay :-|
 

emsr2d2

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I'm afraid I don't have time to read such long posts at the moment. However, can I make a suggestion? Please give your posts slightly more specific titles! I know you have posted several times in the last couple of days and I'm getting completely confused over which I have read and which I haven't because they're all entitled something like "Plz check my essay".

If you entitle this one, for example, "Essay about public figures/celebrities", one of your earlier ones "Essay about the best way to learn a language", it would be much easier for us to keep track of them.

Also, in line with the forum rules, please don't use "textspeak". Write "you", not "u", and "please", not "plz".
 

khan101

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i really appreciate your suggestion... i tried to write the topic in the title but i couldn't as my essay topics are usually quite long and i don't have enough space to write it down in that small box.
I joined this forum yesterday and its really helpful because i didn't see any other forum responding me so quick :lol:
 

Barb_D

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You have the same topic sentence problem.
Nowadays, media is a source of information around the world. If I read this, I would assume you were going to talk about the various types of media and how they deliver information to people.

You seem to have written about why the media should respect the privacy of public figures. Your first paragraph does not contribute to this idea very much.

Also, I think your essay would be stronger if you separated out different categories of public figures. If a political figure does something that shows a serious lack of judgement (getting arrested for drunk driving, for example), do you think the public has more of a right to know about that than someone who is famous because she has a pretty face and can sing well?
 

khan101

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thank you so much for your suggestions, they are really helpful I will try to consider these points for further writings :)
 
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