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    Default Please rate my essy

    The author explains deindividualistic and polaristic ways of behaviour in large group of people, however, the author believes that this behavior can bring only negative consequences for society. On the other hand the speaker agrees that deindividualization and polarization have bad influence on peoples’ behavior but she suggest that in some situations they can be positive.
    The author is sure that deindividualistic behavior of particular person will have always dangerous consequences such as acts of vandalism, uncontrolled actions among enormous crowd. At the same time, he thinks that polarization is bad way of behavior too and he gives for example unpredictable peoples’ actions which outweigh normal attitude to surrounding environment.
    However the speaker’s opinion is more balanced because her estimation contains not only disadvantages of two ways of behaviour but some benefits. She thinks that in some situations they can be helpful and she supports own statement with several examples. For instance deindividualization can be positive during exceptional results in sport or catastrophes when it can support renovation of the destroyed town by earthquake. According to the speaker, polarization sometimes is positive too. For example, if employees are suffered by dishonest attitude of their employer using this behaviour workers can change the situation.

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    Default Re: Please rate my essy

    Quote Originally Posted by Denis2500 View Post

    The author explains deindividualistic and polaristic ways of behaviour in large group [in a large group/in large groups] of people.
    However,the author He OR She believes that this behavior can bring only negative consequences for society. On the other hand, the speaker, while agreeingthat deindividualization and polarization have bad influence on peoples’ behavior, suggests that in some situations they can be positive.
    Unless the author is unknown, s/he should be referred to as "he" or "she" as appropriate.
    "The other hand" has to be different. I found the original a bit confusing, since it began to appear that "on the other hand, B agrees with A".
    The author is sure that the deindividualistic behavior of a particular person will
    always have dangerous consequences, such as acts of vandalism, or uncontrolled actions among a large enormous crowd. At the same time, he thinks that polarization is bad way of behavior too [It would have been useful to have a definition of these terms] and he gives for example unpredictable peoples’ actions which outweigh [?] the normal attitude to the surrounding environment.
    However the speaker’s opinion is more balanced because her estimation contains not only disadvantages of two ways of behaviour but some benefits. She thinks that in some situations they can be helpful and she supports her own statement with several examples. For instance, deindividualization can be positive during exceptional results in sport or catastrophes when it can support lead to renovation of atown destroyed by an earthquake. According to the speaker, polarization is sometimes positive too. For example, if employees are suffering because of the dishonest attitude of their employer, using this behaviour can change the workers' situation.

    It's hard to rate because it's not a very integrated paragraph. It seems to be taken from the middle of an essay. It's impossible to tell if it's been set up and resolved properly. You need to concentrate more on articles, a/the.

    Wikipedia states: "Deindividualisation means treating other people according to preconceived qualities such as race, gender or creed"
    Is it possible that you actually mean "Deindividuation"?
    Deindividuation - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
    Group polarization is the tendency of people to make decisions that are more extreme when they are in a group, as opposed to a decision made alone or independently
    Group polarization - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

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