[Essay] Please rate my essay

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Denis2500

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[FONT=&quot]Telecommuting (working for a company from home rather than in the office and communicating with the office by computer) is becoming more and more common. Discuss the advantaged of telecommuting versus working in an office. Then indicate which you prefer and why.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]New technologies have changed our world very significantly. Working at home has become a very popular in the large number of countries because of several benefits. In my opinion it is a very perspective idea and there are some advantages. First of all working at home people will have more free time which they can spend on their families. Using a telecommuting provides opportunity for people to work in several places simultaneously and when we state at home we do not use our private transport which is not friendly to environment. [/FONT]​
[FONT=&quot]Telecommuting can save our free time which we will spend on our children. In addition, we will have extra opportunities to bring up our children. Working at home we do not waste time on useless activities such as staying at office without work or waiting for clients because with a telecommuting our customers can communicate with us directly by the internet. [/FONT]​
[FONT=&quot]Saving of time because of working at home provides opportunities for people to work in several places simultaneously. It is very helpful in modern life which is extremely unpredictable and it is the main reason why extra sources of money are important. This extra income will be able to support the financial state of our family. In a situation when people do not travel a lot they almost do not use their private transport. [/FONT]​
[FONT=&quot]Less using cars will lead to reduction of pollutions. As a result our life will be more safe and ecological. Telecommuting contains incredible opportunities and we should use them. In fact it can bring saving of our time and to improve our relationships with family. It is the main reason why I am for working at home with support of telecommuting.[/FONT]​
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https://www.usingenglish.com/forum/editpost.php?do=editpost&p=631829
 

Leandro-Z

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Jun 9, 2010
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Student or Learner
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Spanish
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Argentina
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[FONT=&quot]Telecommuting (working for a company [STRIKE]from[/STRIKE] at home rather than in [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] an office and communicating with the [STRIKE]office[/STRIKE] workplace by computer) is becoming more and more common. Discuss the advantages[STRIKE]d[/STRIKE] /perks/benefits of telecommuting [STRIKE]versus[/STRIKE] instead of working in an office. Then indicate which you prefer and why/justify it.[/FONT]














[FONT=&quot]New technologies have changed our world very significantly. Working at home has become a very popular procedure of earning money in [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] a large number of countries because of several benefits. In my opinion, it is a very perspective idea and there are some advantages. First of all, by working at home/telecommuting, people [STRIKE]will[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]have[/STRIKE] gain more free time which they can spend [STRIKE]on[/STRIKE] with their families. [STRIKE]Using[/STRIKE] Having a telecommuting contract provides people the opportunity [STRIKE]for[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]people[/STRIKE] to work in several places simultaneously [STRIKE]and when we state at home we do not use our private transport which is not friendly to environment.[/STRIKE] as well as not having to go to their workplace and return to home, that, in the big cities, can become a catastrophic and chaotic situation[/FONT][FONT=&quot].[/FONT]​






[FONT=&quot]Telecommuting also saves our [STRIKE]free[/STRIKE] spare time which we [STRIKE]will[/STRIKE] can [STRIKE]spend on[/STRIKE] dedicate to our children. As a consequence, we will have extra [STRIKE]opportunities[/STRIKE] chances to bring up our [STRIKE]children[/STRIKE] kids. By working at home, we do not waste time on useless activities such as staying at an office without work or waiting for clients. With a telecommuting employment our customers can [STRIKE]communicate [/STRIKE] get in contact with us directly [STRIKE]by[/STRIKE] on the Internet. [/FONT]​





[FONT=&quot][STRIKE][FONT=&quot]Saving of time because of [/FONT][/STRIKE] In addition to this, working at home provides opportunities for people to work in several places [STRIKE]simultaneously[/STRIKE] at the same time. It is very helpful in modern life which is extremely unpredictable and it is the main reason of the importance [STRIKE]why[/STRIKE] of extra sources of money [STRIKE]are important[/STRIKE]. This [STRIKE]extra[/STRIKE] added income will be able to support the financial state of our family.[/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]In a situation [STRIKE]when[/STRIKE] where people do not travel a lot they almost do not use their private transport.[/FONT] Thus, [STRIKE]l[FONT=&quot]ess using cars will lead to the reduction of pollution[STRIKE]s[/STRIKE][/STRIKE][/FONT] the less you use your vehicle, the more environment-friendly[FONT=&quot]. As a result, our life will be more [STRIKE]safe[/STRIKE] healthy and ecological. Telecommuting contains incredible opportunities and we should [STRIKE]use[/STRIKE] take advantage of them. In fact /Actually, it can [STRIKE]bring saving of[/STRIKE] help us to save our time and to improve our familial relationships [STRIKE]with family[/STRIKE]. It is the main reason why I [STRIKE]am for[/STRIKE] work[STRIKE]ing[/STRIKE] at home with support of telecommuting.[/FONT]​


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Revise it and think of the suggested ideas.
Best wishes, Leandro-Z
 
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