[General] Please check my paragraph

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yousefnofal

Member
Joined
Jul 24, 2010
Member Type
Other
Dear Sir,

I would like to request from your esteemed office take a look at this modest proposal that has been prepared in order to clarify the process of the workflow in western region and thus to develop an appropriate solutions by the main office.


The necessary requirements to meet the workflow properly n the western region as follows:

1. Establishing an office at WR.
2. Providing the office with a permanent engineer and full time from (07.00 AM to 03.00 PM) on Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday and the rest of the week to continue the work at Abu Dhabi main office to coordinate for the WR by provision of the necessary devices or so.

The existence of an engineer will meet the following:
· Resolve any defect may occur in the HFC system at the region.
· Deal with AHS committee’s visits to DPSC.
· Avoid any delay in providing services to our clients.
· Organize and divide the work among both of us.
· Deputize for me in my absence.

Hoping you take this proposal into account.

Yours faithfully,
 

tedtmc

Key Member
Joined
Jun 12, 2006
Member Type
Interested in Language
Native Language
Chinese
Home Country
Malaysia
Current Location
Malaysia
Dear Sir,

I would like to request[STRIKE] from [/STRIKE] that your esteemed office take a look at this modest proposal that has been prepared [STRIKE]in order[/STRIKE] to clarify the process of the workflow in western region and thus to develop an appropriate solution[STRIKE]s[/STRIKE] by the main office.

The necessary requirements to [STRIKE]meet the workflow properly[/STRIKE] for a proper workflow in the western region (WR) are as follows:

1. Establishing an office at the WR.
2. Providing the office with a permanent, full-time engineer [STRIKE]and full time[/STRIKE] from 07.00 AM to 03.00 PM on Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday and the rest of the week (this would mean the entire week, are you sure?) to continue the work at Abu Dhabi main office to coordinate [STRIKE]for[/STRIKE] with the WR by provision of the necessary devices (what devices? do you mean 'the engineer's services') or so (?).

The e[STRIKE]xistence[/STRIKE] position of an engineer will [STRIKE]meet[/STRIKE] serve the following:
· Resolve (rectify) any defect may occur in the HFC system at the region.
· Deal with AHS committee’s visits to DPSC.
· Avoid any delay in providing services to our clients.
· Organize and divide (distribute) the work among both of us.
· Deputize for me in my absence.

Hoping you take this proposal into account (in?).

Yours faithfully,
 
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